20 Days of 2016

It's almost twenty days in January and some people are already looking forward in planning their life throughout the year enthusiastically. Some might plan for a holiday during mid year while some may opt for developing certain skills or visiting some friends far away. Whatever the choice is, you know, we often choose to plan ahead and let the time decide whether our plans will go on smoothly or otherwise.

As for me, it is very difficult to say as i am going through a very interesting phase of my life right now because i am still waiting to begin my career. My very first job. Well currently i am staying with the family, happily enjoying spending my time with them. From another perspective i could see that these moments are indeed very precious because who knows how much time do i have left to spend with them when i have a career in future right? But you know, it's also incredible what waiting period could do to your mood, self esteem, and even confidence.

During this few weeks i have been reflecting on lots of things which include what other ways i could do to improve myself, or weaknesses. Don't get me wrong. I am not finding flaws, it's just that i am continuously looking for ways to do more and achieve more. But when the waiting become longer and longer than i have expected, i am started to question on more things. These questions remain mostly unanswered because i know the time will come when i will be able to answer those doubtful questions in life.

And until one day, i came across this picture with a very strong message to me. It opened my eyes and mind that my worries are not worth the time.

The time that i spent to worry should be spent on something more important. To please Allah, to please the Mastermind of your life and all living things in this world. To serve Him and do everything because of him. Thus, if our worries don't contribute to how we could serve Allah better, then we might have been doing it wrongly. To worry without doing anything is wrong, to worry and keep questioning our inability to control our life is also improper because all have been decided by Allah. We have absolutely no power to question but our rights are to give our best effort and leave the rest to Allah.

From there i also learnt my lesson; my worries should be channelled to do better things which are finding ways to please my best planner of life, Allah swt. But also, to do my part in giving my very best effort and pray. The result are in His knowledge and power.

This waiting time have been quite bitter, but what i have learned from it is far better. Way better than what i ever expected. So the next time we worry about anything, channel it using the right ways- to please our Creator. InshaAllah, Allah will reward you in the best way He has planned for you and will give you the strength and peace to endure it all. If Allah put you to it, He will put you through it.

Al Baqarah : 216

Because Positivity Needs To Start With Me

To be honest, I am becoming a bit depressed everytime I scroll in my Facebook news feed, watch the national news or even read the newspaper. It is extremely difficult to find a positive news about Malaysia, and not too long after that, I became extremely frustrated that i chose to be sarcastic in some ways, hoping that I could release all these tensions about these negative news. Instead it does not help me to feel better, I am becoming more annoyed, frustrated and depressed each day watching all these negative news passing through my life. It came to a point where my heart feels like it is breaking to pieces and I feel I should no longer care about what is happening. I wanted to be an ignorant. But after giving myself some time to think it through, I realised that all these negativities need to end, I am in control of my response towards these issues. And, there is not even a second where I hate my country,  but hating those who betrayed my country. Making it miserable as it now. And yes, realising that made me reflect about myself too. What can I do? What can we do? 

Perhaps we could choose to turn a blind eye on these, and take the "ignorance is a bliss" stance. But to be honest, either you care or you don't, both ways are gonna hurt. But for me, to ignore totally is completely an unwise decision, but to be fanatic in such issues, that doesn't help either.

Therefore, i would rather say, that i am in the middle. Trying to achieve a balance between caring and not caring. Between ignorant and sensitive. But trust me, most of the times, i fall into the sensitive side more. Because naturally, i am a sensitive person and i don't believe it's a defect. But anyway, i admitted that i was kinda emotional at times, reading heartbreaking news each day, revealing things i hope that are not true, but truly, it doesn't get me anywhere, neither it solves the situation nor it helps to improve things. It is easy to spill out all those criticisms, harsh words, or even negative comments to these issues, but trust me that will not help improve things either. I feel hopeless, helpless and restless because i do not know what are the instant solution to all these problems in the country.

After a long time spent, wondering what i should do or what is the best way to respond,  i came to a conclusion that i need to start somewhere, regardless how small. I need to start making the change i wish to see in the world, step by step. From the very beginning of a big change, it will still need the smallest effort, before it can be a greater change. If people around me are corrupted, i need to take care of my integrity, if the people around me are racists, i need to be the one who cares for all regardless colour or races. If people around me are judgemental, i need to be someone who seeks to understand and be wise, if people around me are liars, i need to ensure each of my action and word is true. And because there is no escapism from the current situation, not yet. But what we can do is to channel all those energy from the disappointments and frustrations of our world to something good, to be kind and contribute. Why not channel all those energy, from our dissatisfaction to inspire people through our doings, writing, or anything.

To change negativity to positivity, i know it's difficult but it's not impossible. We are indeed powerful in our own ways, in our little environment, and perhaps we need to practise using this small power first, wisely before we might be given a greater power in the future. Who knows you could be the next leader, who leads the parliament or maybe the ministry? But whatever it is, we would not want the same thing to be repeated, people abusing power again and again. Therefore, make sure to use this "small power"  in our everyday lives, given to us wisely and kindly, to shape us as a better leader in future.

Thus, before the lies and the corrupted become any stronger, we are the people who needs to defend the truth, the integrity of the society. And thus, i urged that all of us, start with ourselves, the people around us, plant your seeds of kindness, so that they will grow, and to outgrow the bad and all those lies. We can do this and we have no choice, unless we chose to watch everything falls, including our generation. Time is ticking, and it's you that i am counting on and of course not forgetting, myself.

"O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do." As Saff: 2-3

Because in this era, the truth is a minority. The lies are dominant and it's all around us. It's true what Rasulullah saw has reminded us about fitna at this point of time. I love my country, this country never break my heart, neither it betrays me, but those who betrayed it; is the one who hurts me and ain't going to let them win.

And to my leaders, I hope and I pray that one day you will realise how big your responsibilities are, and the real meaning of "caring for the people" and also, think thousands or millions of times until you decide not to use the citizens' money that easily....

And because positivity needs to start with me..

Drama Melayu : Maafkan Suara Picisan Saya

Menonton televisyen bukanlah kebiasaan bagi saya setelah beberapa tahun meluangkan masa tanpanya sepanjang tempoh pengajian. Saya cuba belajar untuk hidup tanpa menonton televisyen. Namun, sejak tamat pengajian dan kembali ke tanah air, hampir tiga bulan lalu; saya berpeluang menonton televisyen Malaysia walaupun agak kesibukan menguruskan urusan harian dan membantu keluarga. Tetapi dalam tempoh ini, saya sempat cuba memahami apa yang terkandung dalam rancangan-rancangan televisyen Malaysia, termasuklah drama yang dihasilkan karyawan bangsa saya sendiri, drama Melayu.

Walaupun bukanlah peminat drama-drama Melayu tetapi terkadang bila berpeluang menonton sambil berborak dan makan bersama keluarga, saya cuba buka minda dan menghadam mesej yang cuba diberi oleh sesebuah drama. Namun, saat ini, tiap kali terbuka saluran yang menayangkan drama Melayu, saya jadi hampa dan kecewa. Lalu, tidak keberatan untuk menukar saluran serta merta. Bukan niat diri untuk memperlekeh kerja para karyawan seni yang berusaha kuat memartabatkan seni di tanah air, tetapi apabila minda dan hati saya seolah-olah dipaksa menerima satu mesej yang bertentangan dengan prinsip diri, maka saya jadi tertekan dan merasakan mentaliti diri dicabar.

Maaf jika saya berterus terang mengatakan kebanyakan (bukan semua) tetapi hampir majoriti drama-drama Melayu yang disiarkan, berkisahkan dan bertemakan cinta. Tidak mengapa, cinta bukanlah sesuatu yang hodoh untuk dikisahkan, tetapi apabila nilai-nilai Islam dan agama dikikis kikis, minda disogok-sogokkan, budaya sopan dicarik-carikkan, saya jadi kurang senang. Tidak perlu rasanya saya berikan contoh, terlalu banyak adegan yang memang tidak sesuai ditonton apatah lagi buat penonton cilik kanak-kanak (jika ada yang menonton nya). Dan yang paling mengecewakan, adalah cinta seolah-olah satu topik yang langsung tidak boleh dikeluarkan dalam skrip dan dialog drama Melayu. Pulang pejabat cakap tentang cinta, pulang rumah cakap tentang cinta, dalam bilik mesyuarat pun bicara tentang cinta wanita. Lebih separuh dari dialog drama cuma bercakap tentang cinta. Itu belum adegan menangis, bergaduh dan sebagainya. Seingat saya, dialog tentang cinta bukanlah dialog biasa atau harian saya, dan bukan juga dialog kebanyakan masyarakat kita saban hari. 

Drama-drama ini seolah mempamerkan cinta sebagai tujuan hidup. Seolah kehidupan ini cuma berkisarkan perjuangan mencari cinta. Maaf, tetapi pada saya perjuangan hidup seharusnya dan sememangnya lebih dari itu. Dan kerana cinta menjadi tema, maka pelakon-pelakon dan skrip yang digunakan juga seolah menghalalkan banyak benda kerana cinta. Isteri bertukar tempat dengan kembarnya, lahir anak luar nikah dan cari pak sanggup, seolah satu normaliti yang biasa dalam drama Melayu. Adakah drama-drama ini cuba "membiasakan" apa yang sepatutnya menjadi "luar biasa" kepada kita? Saya takut dengan realitinya! Namun, saya juga memuji dan menghargai sebahagian kecil bilangan drama Melayu yang cuba keluar dari tema cinta ini dan membawa mesej yang bermakna untuk masyarakat.

Saya bukanlah karyawan atau warga seni yang layak mengkritik hasil kreatif para penggiat seni, tetapi saya mewakili mungkin sebahagian kecil generasi muda, cuma merasakan bahawa sudah tiba masanya drama Melayu ini keluar daripada kepompong cinta yang menyekat sang rama-rama daripada berkembang mewarnai dan membina minda anak-anak bangsanya.

Saya juga bukanlah keseorangan dalam menyuarakan ketidakpuasan hati tentang ketirisan mesej drama-drama Melayu belakangan ini. Pancaindera edisi 8 Mac 2015; baru menegur mesej yang dibawa oleh sebuah drama Melayu bersiri yang seolah mempersenda Islam. Realiti yang lebih menakutkan adalah mahu ataupun tidak, suka ataupun tidak, televisyen merupakan salah satu medium pendidikan tidak formal kepada masyarakat. Penonton-penonton yang menontonnya melebihi beberapa jam sehari, besar kemungkinan dididik melalui apa yang dipelajarinya tanpa sedar dari televisyen. Dan jika drama Melayu, drama yang dilakonkan oleh mereka yang sama bangsa dengannya, budaya juga sama, agama juga sama, maka jangan terperanjat jika budaya kurang enak dalam drama Melayu itu telah diterjemahkan dalam gejala sosial masyarakat hari ini. Mereka seolah dididik bahawa semua demi cinta itu tidak salah, walau bercanggah agama, kerana ada contoh yang dipaparkan saban hari, budaya itu seolah-olah "OK". Dan apa salahnya, jika ditiru. Oh, statistik buang bayi, saya sangkakan menurun tetapi tidak. Dan ini juga realiti yang sangat pahit untuk ditelan. Sebagai bakal guru, saya sudah tentu risau dengan apa yang menjadi didikan anak murid saya sebaik mereka melangkah keluar dari sekolah.

Drama Melayu dan gejala sosial? Tiada kaitan? Bagaimana dengan rancangan tv lain? Bukankah lebih banyak yang menyumbang juga? 

Betul, besar kemungkinan mungkin drama Melayu tidak besar pengaruhnya (saya meragui), tetapi melalui drama ini juga, kita diserang melalui pemikiran. Bayangkan jika bertahun-tahun minda manusia dididik dengan hakikat bahawa hidup cuma berkisar tentang cinta, bagaimana minda mereka (terutama generasi muda), akan terbuka untuk menghayati visi dan tujuan hidup yang lebih besar? Visi hidup bahawa setiap manusia punya potensi diri untuk menyumbang kepada masyarakat, dan bukannya cuma berangan dan berdialog tentang cinta. Kita mahukan generasi yang bermentaliti tinggi, kelas pertama, tetapi drama Melayu masih tidak membantu menghalusi visi ini dalam karya mereka. 

Maaf, tetapi wawasan 2020 mungkin terpaksa dilajakkan menjadi wawasan 2050. Kerana pembangunan minda mereka yang terbantut, dan disekat dengan pendidikan seperti ini.

Cukuplah tentang cinta. Para penggiat seni, saya merayu anda membantu meningkatkan kualiti mentaliti masyarakat ini. Kajilah dan perhalusilah nilai Islam sebaiknya sebelum menterjemahkannya ke dalam karya anda. Perkembangkan minda kami dengan sesuatu yang berilmiah dan bermanfaat, terutama dalam mendidik akhlak dan hubungan sesama manusia. Janganlah menjadi racun buat anak bangsamu sendiri, jadilah baja yang meningkatkan mentaliti dan menyuburkan rasa cinta kepada agama, bangsa dan negara ini.

Hamka dalam bukunya berjudul Falsafah Hidup, ada juga berbicara tentang cinta pada sudut lainnya; (dalam Bab ketiga) untuk memperhalusi makna cinta. "Yang menjadi roh keutamaan adalah cinta kasih yang mengandungi hikmat dan keadilan. Iaitu pengaruh yang besar masyarakat kepada penghidupan orang seseorang, merasa setiap gerak gerinya di muka umum ialah untuk umum."

Lalu, nilai cinta manakah yang kita mahukan dalam hidup ini? Adakah cuma cinta yang menghanyutkan dalam khayalan nafsu atau cinta yang mengubah manusia agar menyumbang potensi diri untuk masyarakatnya? 

Dan sudah tentulah, nikmat akal yang dikurnia Allah kepada kita perlu dijaga, dan dipelihara agar tidak tercemar dengan mentaliti yang kurang membina. Akal adalah anugerah untuk manusia membezakan perkara yang baik dan buruk buat dirinya. "Orang berakal hidup buat masyarakatnya, bukan buat dirinya sendiri" (Hamka, Falsafah Hidup).

Maka, saya menyeru diri saya dan anda, agar bijak menilai apa yang cuba mendidik diri, minda dan hati kita saban hari. Dan sudah tentulah, didikan terbaik adalah bersumberkan Al Quran dan Sunnah. Namun, telitilah juga apa yang cuba masuk ke dalam minda kita, formal atau tidak formal, agar kita tidak menjadi mangsa serangan pemikiran dari drama ataupun media lain yang seangkatan dengannya. Jika drama Melayu mengecewakan, mungkin itu tandanya perkara lain yang lebih bermanfaat sepatutnya menjadi pilihan. Mungkin melalui bacaan, tulisan, atau apa jua hobi yang membina. Manfaatkanlah, ruang dan masa yang ada mencapai tujuan hidup sebagai abid dan khalifah. 

Buat penggiat seni, selamat berusaha dan berjuang untuk membantu menghasilkan karya yang lebih berkualiti buat ummah. InshaAllah.

"Tutup Allah itu terbahagi kepada dua, iaitu tutup dari (melakukan) maksiat dan tutup dalam maksiat. Orang awam meminta kepada Allah agar ditutupi dalam berbuat maksiat kerana khuatir kedudukannya jatuh di kalangan manusia. Namun, orang khawwas (khusus) meminta kepada Allah agar ditutupi daripada berbuat maksiat, kerana khuatir jatuh kedudukannya dalam pandangan Penguasa (Allah)." 

(Ibn Attha'illah As Sakandari, Kitab Al Hikam)

Ayuh, jadi orang khawwas! (:

The Mirror That We Chose

It is not always easy to say that we should always be honest to ourselves. Well, honesty of oneself is about admitting the truth about yourself, whether it is weaknesses and strengths. But more often than not, we always fall to the trap of disappointing ourselves because we just could not accept our "real" self. Those challenges that we failed to conquer, those problems awaiting to be solved and those dreams waiting to be turned into reality. But somehow, we moved on and keep walking forward, no matter how disppointing our "real" self could be at times.

It is because during those moments of struggle, we believe in one thing. Or at least, imagine and having an illusion of the success or the better future that we could somehow achieve if we just passed this one particular test or problem in life. We imagined a "self" that successfully overcome the situation or the hurdle, and that we still have hopes to hold onto. The hope that keeps us going. Sooner or later, we realised that those tests that we left behind are just there as a lesson to learn. 

But then comes another challenge. People. Well, I must say that we could never even try to arrange who we want to meet or not in life. And those people who are destined to cross our life path, are not simply there for no reason. They are there to teach us. Me, myself often think, pray and hope that I could minimize the number of having to meet 'hot tempered' people. It is because I just think that I could not handle them, I did not know how to face them, their temper and all the irrelevant ideas that came up from their anger. It was extremely difficult for me to deal with them. 

And at times, I wonder, why am I destined to meet such people? 

I mean, most of the people who knows me admit that I have such a soft, delicate heart and that I am such a fragile person. Well, I have no idea how true is that. But I do not believe that I am a hot tempered person, I am the type of people who keeps everything to themselves (hidden anger), introverted perfectionist. Well, those hot tempered people that I met are obviously the opposite of my character and thus, I wondered why. 

Is it just because of that? 

After a long time wondering about this (I usually overthinking things); it took me a few years to understand. The people that we try to avoid in life, for example in my case these hot tempered people, are destined to meet is because we, are the people who can teach them something. About characters, about the importance of having patience, and conscience especially when you're completely lost in your anger. They are there, crossing in your life path because they are tested too. They are tested with their anger, patience and also, the ability to control their anger when it seems the hardest thing to do. Meanwhile, we are tested with our patience to deal with them, to show the best example even when our logic is challenged by their anger. To remain calm and help them find it too. 

Yes, not all people succeed in facing their tests in life, and that is when reflecting becomes useful.

That it is not about lying to ourselves that everything will turn out good and we do nothing. It is about the need to reflect. That we need to guide, share or be a good example to others, although it might be the most difficult challenge to overcome. We should try our best and believe that some day, those people are going to realise the truth. But the effort needs to start from us. The prayers, the advice and everything that are within our capability to help them. It is because we are like mirrors to each other. Mirrors that reflect the character and attitude to others. If we chose to be good, then the other people might replicate the kindness to different people in the future. If we chose to be bad or mean to others, do not be surprise that other people might treat us the same way. It is a lifetime experiment, when meeting new people or challenges in the future; we have to decide how to face them.

"We need guidance, and for that Allah has perfectly described to us the script and the role model to be followed."

The Prophet s.a.w.; the Quran and hadith. A role model who is given the script, the best example to follow and guide us. So that we do not have to lie to ourselves anymore, but constantly reflecting and improving our characters based on these. That is why we could not leave Quran even for a day, because the best person to advice us is our own self. We are the one who knows better about our flaws and weaknesses. And Allah has given us the ultimate guidance for us to advise our own self; the Quran. It is really amazing because each time we open the Quran and reflect, Allah is giving us advice to face life through His love in Quran. MashaAllah.

So it is time to repair our relationship with Quran and of course, to be closer to Allah and seek for His blessing in life. InshaAllah. 

A Long, Missed Catch Up

I did not how much I miss them till I met them yesterday. It has been a long time since high school and although I do meet them at least once a year, it really does bring a big difference. During high school, we were among the closest friends together, keeping life busy to achieve the best in SPM especially. But then we grew up later in life, realising that life is more than SPM. Or, life is more than getting good grades....yeahhhh.

It is way beyond than just preparing for exams. Of course, we could not run away from the system entirely, but what I am saying is that the system should not determine the way we look at life. It does not have to be like that. We did talk about the hectic life of three different careers yesterday, pharmacist, medicine and education. And I do realise that each career will have its own challenge and hurdles. I did have a great time reflecting about life with them, and that we just could not mention about the future plan enough..haha

But most importantly, what I did learn about years after leaving high school is that, those friends who were there supporting you from the very beginning, will be among the most important people that keeps you going later in life. Friendship is not about how long, but it is also about those people who never decide to leave us alone. Those people, when we reach out are willing to lend a helping hand and understand. Those people who knows that there are no big difference in our career path, but we just want to give our best to society.

Although we might have different stories in our careers, but we shared the same passion of living life as best as we can, achieving the impossible no matter how difficult it may seem at times, and to share the beauty of the friendship no matter how far and how long we have been away from each other. Even when times is really limited for us to share everything, but the thought of having lovely people around us, who cared is just wonderful.

It will be long journey ahead, and yes, more challenges await in the future. But this friendship, is among the strongest reason why I think I could go further in life. It is because of those people who have been supporting me, even from afar and even in silence.

Life is beautiful, we just need some time to find the hidden beauty at times.

And for you dearests, may Allah bless this friendship and ukhuwwah forever. Amin.,

Those Strong People in My Life That Inspire Me

These few days have made me reflected a lot about the people around me who I considered to be extraordinarily strong. Yes, it is true, each human being faces different tests in life, and that most of the decisions and our plannings in life are sometimes out of our control. It is not because we did not make good enough plans or not deciding the best things for us, but it is because life is already in written in a way that we that we sometimes find it hard to understand. 

This is destiny. But to blame and put everything as it is just because it was written or destined; that is not fair. Life is not about being fair to ourselves only, but it is about reaching a balance. The balance between what we can control and what we could not. 

Of course, it is easy to console ourselves and convince that everything is already written and that we should accept things as they are. But hey, stop blaming our destiny for own failures when we did not put enough effort to change it. Just like you cannot blame destiny for falling when you were walking while texting. Just like you cannot blame people when you got into an accident, because you drove away when the traffic light was blinking red. But to seek a balance is by doing and giving our very best to reach our dreams, but when destiny disagree, we are able to accept and keep moving forward.

But the question of acceptance and being in denial about our destinies are actually related much to our faith. The faith that we could survive despite all those things written for us, the faith that we would not be tested beyond our capabilities. The faith that we are still here today, given the chance to imrpove ourselves though there are moments in the past that almost make us give up hope.

It is just that there are moments in life that make us doubt about this faith, that makes things difficult. That make us begin to blame and question our incapabilites or destiny. Those moments, that make us doubtful, are always going to be a part of our lives' journey ahead. This is true, because as we grow older, be more matured each day, the tests are going to be different. We learn, fall and keep learning to stand up again. And each time we stood up after falling, we gain different perspectives and understanding of life, we have new sources of courage in our hearts and most importantly, we learn from our mistakes.

The tests in life are going to be bigger, tougher and greater as we step forward towards our future undertakings. So, it is a matter of growing up our own faith, patience, perseverance, and honesty towards ourselves. That we can, and will be able to face new challenges in life no matter how difficult it is going to be, with one and only one condition. That we promise ourselves to grow our wisdom and learn each time we face new tests in life. 

This is because the moment we refuse to learn from life, life will disappoint us in a way that we could never imagine. So, dont stop learning.

Life in Malaysia has been teaching me a lot; although I have spent less than two months here. To my previous life back in Melbie, I will surely miss you and you'll always be a great teacher that will be a part of my life forever. 

This post is dedicated to my friends who face new challenges in life everyday, that inspired me to be as strong and to have patience of learning what life is about. To dearest friends that taught me, although life might have different plannings for us, but to have faith that the good and the truth will always be the winner that keep us going. To inspiring friends, you are among the reasons I will not give up learning about life and writing about it. 

Thanks, although I could never thank you enough.

Time is less!

Firstly, I would like to thank and appreciate all the wishes and prayers from my family and friends, yesterday 16th of September. Your wishes and prayers have truly made my day and will go a long way to remind me of being strong; to face the tough journey ahead. Indeed, being far away from home, made me learn to appreciate them more. Yes, time flies and yesterday means, I am adding another digit to what we called 'age', of course. 

But yes, age is just a measurement, a tool to measure how much time have you spent in this life, in this world since you were born. And the funny thing is, we celebrate birthdays, with our beloveds because it signifies a special day for us. Nevertheless, it is also maybe to celebrate the maturity that we are getting because of longer, and more experiences gained than before.

On the other hand, age could also mean the opposite. It means, you probably have longer time to live than your birthday age, or most probably, not. We never know. We will never ever know it. And that is why, for me, birthday is one way I like to remind myself, that when my age are added by another year, it means I have less time to prepare myself. Prepare for what the real life is, in the hereafter.

To be prepared in becoming a true servant to Allah, to become an abid and khalifah, who is always conscious of what he or she is doing in this world, to have taqwa and to meet our Creator in jannah, inshaAllah. And because the world is coming to an end, although we never know when, but it will. And thus, for ourselves, one thing is definitely sure, we are going to leave this world.

And so, for myself, use your time well. Treasure the people around you, be significant to others by giving and enjoy the joy of giving. Even if it is just a piece of advice. Give anything within your capacity, to benefit others. Because time, is now becoming less and it is moving, fast.

Finally, Happy Malaysia Day; am proud to be part of you and share a birthday with you, Malaysia!!  (Yesterday) :)