Poems of travelog melbourne- new zealand part 1

This life is really like

In trams and trains

Moving on the rails of life

There are times when we stop

For moments or abrupt

Ups and downs 

In many different stations

Life challenges await

For the winds might be tough

In Wellington victoria

We sometimes may fall

Trying to stand tall

But to always believe

When we; could be

Either below or above

There's always clouds of hope

Brought by the wind

To those who wants to win

All the foreign coins that you have

Empty your pocket before you left

Unless you want them kept

It's like having coins of moments

Some are meant to be forgotten

Some are better treasured

Or some teaches great lesson

When we sometimes wish for the sky

People might thought it was the star

And there's no plenty of time

You gotta go on a star; not the sky

Yes; the lesson is to clarify

When your accent is not defined.

Queenstown

Though you might not be queen

Always think of yourself that you'd win

All the natures and beauty you find

Will always be the one of its kind

And there might be times

When you get lucky in life

Touching glacier on top of mountain

A miracle for us to ponder in return

That destiny precedes our desires

Having everything booked 

Did not always meant it's for you

Life is unpredictable too

For we did not write our stories

It has been written by Him

Cause we are just unfolding

Each page of our stories

Friends and families

Whenever they cross in our paths

Aren't just for us to stare

But to give love and share

Just like when we could hardly bear

Each other's absence

When there's distant moments

cuma titanic

Dalam hidup ini terkadang aku banyak impian. Itu dan ini, serba serbi. Kerana lumrah dan fitrah insan, tidak terlepas daripada kemahuan, keperluan dan mungkin jua kepuasan. Tetapi hidup ini bukanlah serba indah, ada saat yang menduga, ada saat yang meluka dan ada saat juga berduka. Dalam banyak impian yang aku cuba usahakan saat ini, aku mahukan sesuatu yang bukan mampu dibeli dengan wang, bukan juga dibeli dengan pangkat seangkatannya, tetapi keikhlasan dan keimanan.

Banyak dari kita mahu hidup yang indah belaka, walau kita cukup sedar diri kita tidak sempurna, mereka tidak sempurna bahkan tiada siapa yang sempurna, melainkan Maha Pencipta. Allah yang Maha Kuasa. Dan lantas, bagaimanakah kita boleh menyangka, hanya dengan kekuatan diri kita, kita mampu harungi semua, ketidaksempurnaan diri, dia, dan mereka.

Dan kerana itulah jua tujuan kita diciptakan. Untuk sentiasa punya keimanan. Keimanan setinggi yang dapat kita gapai agar mampu menjejak syurga dan redha-Nya kelak, inshaAllah. Dan aku, moga saja dengan keimanan diri yang terkadang compang-camping atau koyak-rabak kerana kelemahan diri, Dia sentiasa ada untuk menerima taubat dan insaf hamba-Nya. aku sebenarnya impikan hati seluas lautan, bahkan jika bisa, lebih luas dari itu. Aku tidak mahu terusik atau tercemar oleh sekadar setitis nila, pecahan kaca atau apa jua yang dilontarkan kepadaku. 

Aku tidak mahu ketidaksempurnaan dunia, merosak hati, meluka dan membarah dalam jiwa. Aku mahukan hati setenang dan seluas lautan, sedalam mungkin kesabaran. Tiada tergugat walau kapal sebesar dan segagah titanic kau hanyutkan dalam lautan hati ini. Ia tiada kesan, kerana keimanan yang memenangkan hati, tidak terusik dengan benda kecil dan kerdil. Hati seluas lautan, yang redha mengharung apa jua gelora dunia, tidak terpikat, tiada tergugat.

Sungguh iman seluas itu, dan sedalam lautan itu, mungkin masih jauh beribu batu langkahan usaha harus ditempuh, namun kerana ada impian dan harapan, aku harus teruskan langkahan, kerana Allah menjanjikan balasan kebaikan bagi mereka yang benar-benar cuba mencapai keikhlasan beriman kepada-Nya. 

Percaya. Hatimu mampu seluas lautan, walau tiada seluas iman umar al khattab atau uthman bin affan, tetapi tetaplah menjunjung dan mencontohi jejak mereka, yang syahid kerana Allah.

Pejamkan mata

Terkadang di saat sukar

Saat ini terasa dunia teramat ngeri untuk dilihat

Aku memejamkan mata, 

Sengaja, kerna buat sementara

Mahu ku larikan diri ini,

Dari konfrontasi dunia nyata

Namun di saat ku pejamkan mata

Bukanlah bererti diri ini lemah tiada maya

Dan bukanlah kerana kakunya jiwa

Cuma aku mencuba membangunkan minda

Yang terkadang lelap dalam fana

Di mana, harus ku cari kekuatan 

Menebarkan sayap semangat diri

Agar tiada mata terpejam

Terlalu lama, sehingga aku alpa

Realiti tiada mudah disangka

Diri ini

Memejamkan mata lagi

Kerana terkadang aku takut 

Hakikat jiwa manusiawi

Terkadang mereka, aku dan dia,

Tiada mampu untuk membeza

Yang mana duka, yang mana dusta

Dan terkadang mata terpejam tanpa sengaja

Kerana diri ini

Sukar teramat, menghilangkan makna

Trauma pada jiwa

Ya, aku jiwa yang mudah trauma

Dan tidak mudah lupa

Namun diri ini tetap tiada akan putus asa

Berjuang membebaskan sayap 

Dari kisah lama, yang membebani cuma

Dan 

Mata yang terkadang ku pejamkan

Bukan kerana kelemahan,

Tetapi kerana menggenggam kekuatan

Membunga harapan

Craved for

We craved for knowledge 

Yet we often abandon the ones we already learned

We craved for creativity

Yet we stumbled upon between desires and selfishness

We often do not know

What should we aim for

What should be the purpose

Cause the world is deceiving us

Often, too often

We craved for the wrong things

Struggled for the wrong reasons

Wishing for the wrong persons

But lost not

Give up not

It is not too late

To change what we craved for

To add what we are lacked of

To find where the purpose gone

We, you and me

Have nothing in difference

But to always remind each other

That the best among us, 

Is the one who's most noble

Having the highest level 

Of taqwa, that could be seek

In this world, while you and me,

Are given the chance to live.

And so we shall,

Watch what we craved for,

And the true purpose of,

Living in His world.

bicara malam

yang kamu bisikkan pada satu jiwa dahulu

kata yang membangkit inspirasi

menjelmakan sisi yang tiada pernah terfikir

wujud pada diri

walau teramat lama

tanpa sedar tercari

manusia terkadang mahukan nama

nama yang menjadi ingatan jiwa mereka

namun mereka terkadang jua alpa

mengukir nama dan tanpa sengaja mengukir luka

pada jiwa yang mendambakan belas dari nya

sungguh Tuhan tidak pernah meninggalkanmu

wahai jiwa yang disakiti atau dilupai

hakikat dunia yang penuh ilusi

bukan bermaksud diri rapuh tidak upaya berdiri

namun kerana ujian itu

meletakkan martabatmu tinggi

seandai engkau redha itu dugaan Ilahi

Maha Agung dan Maha Tahu

bicara malam pada aku

biarkan kegelapan membawa pergi

luka yang pernah menghiris sepi

kata yang tiada pernah dimaknai

mereka tidak mengerti

mungkin masih mencari

kebenaran yang diyakini

bicara malam padaku

biar cahaya Ilahi membasahi hati

biar kitab-Nya yang menyentuh sanubari

kerana itu bukti cinta yang hakiki

MR.SM & Me

Assalamuaalaikum fellow readers. It has been a while since my last entry. Well, a changing course in life would require a twist in our effort to adapt with it. I guess. I do apologize for the 'hybernation' of this blog, as I am currently posted to a high school, in Malaysia. Somewhere in Perak, just an hour away from home for my practicum, finishing my final year of Tesol VUW since 2010. It is actually a 12- weeks practicum with the school, but since Malaysian schools are currently having exams, trials, holidays and too many events, I guess that my practicum would actually be around 9-10 weeks left. In which I do not know what should I feel. Kidding.

Anyways, I am now in Week two of my practicum, we just had two weeks holiday for Eid. And I do admit that celebrating Eid after three years abroad, is quite awkward. Plus, most of family members were not well enough to go around and celebrate, and again I ended up spending most of the time at home. I guess it's a bless. Isn't it? 

I am just gonna share with you a bit about this school. It's a boarding school, nicely located between the Royal city of Perak and on the same route heading to Grik. If you often travel to Kelantan via Perak highway, I guess you could guess the place. It's quite a small school for its kind, but there is something about the school that begin to make my heart melt. We, humans, most of the time are fascinated by the physical looks of a thing, and often make a very 'quick' judgement based on the outside, forgetting the real values that might be hidden inside. For me, this school is nothing fancy on the outside, but once you stepped into the atmosphere, the staffs, the students and the teachers (in this case colleagues) are all welcoming, friendly and warm. A beautiful attitude, full with respect and sincerity. They are all working like a community, supporting and helping each other. And there is not a single moment I felt that any person in this school is isolated in any ways. Everyone is caring towards each other and this is proven by the atmosphere in the staff room. Amazing!

Although I do heard from some of my friends posted in other schools, they struggled to know each other and hardly had time to be friend with many teachers. I am thankful for this great opportunity to be posted here, to learn so much, not just education, but attitude, in a caring community. There is not a single moment any teachers here fail to return a smile every time I meet them, and even if I am not that close to many of the teachers, but I could tell, that they are, the people you would love to be around with. As a Malaysian, you have probably heard about the saying of the people who lives at the same village are like families,  which means they always care and look after each other in harmony. *feels so patriotic*

alright, I guess I do not want to bore you guys with the teaching stories too much and this is like a very simple intro about my life currently. If you are keen to read more about my practicum experience, you are most welcome to visit my personal website of teaching at this link; 

English Incarnation

I''d leave you with that, I'd have to go now, mentor is calling. Till then, embrace your believe, and translate it into action! love much from MRSM Lenggong (:

love. don't fall.

quite recently i heard some of my classmates describing their experiences during practicum. and honestly, i think they are the honest confessions of the future educators about the system, and as a newborn baby to the career, who's just beginning to step into reality. i am afraid, actually. reality of teaching, as an educator.

some people said, you need to love your career. if you don't you'll struggle. my answer is, not necessarily. well, you know love could not be forced. it's the natural rule of life. in order to love a person, you'll need to know about a person first, don't you? so we could not expect people who are newly born to a career, to love the career just like that. they would have to fall in love with the career. yup. fall in love.

how do you know when you're falling in love? truth is you never know, you suddenly do. just out of the blue, your heart is attached to it. for some reasons we might not even know. so the question is, how do you know when you fall in love with your career, or more importantly how to make you fall in love with the career? 

i honestly a new born baby in this teaching profession. future english teacher in malaysian schools. well, boarding school to be accurate. i have not even stepping into this profession deeply enough, even my practicum is yet to start. but hey, i do not want myself to see this career or this profession as a burden, before i even begin with it. em, yeah, i do heard lots and lots of stories about this career, the struggles, the system, and everything. and to be positive in something you have not experience, is difficult. but to face the new experience, with many negative impressions about it, is even harder.

thus, i realise about one thing, i just need to have a right filter for all these descriptions or impressions about the teaching profession. a filter which could twist the negatives to positives. a filter that could change the bad to good, the difficult to a valuable challenge. to motivate instead of dissipate. 

a right filter. is our intention. the intention made within your heart. the motives, the niyyah that we have, it does seem avery basic thing, but because it IS basic, thus we need to have a strong foundation of a career that we might build for years and years. if a house is built on a weak foundation, soon enough it will collapse by itself.. if our motive is right from the beginning, inshaAllah Allah will ease everything for us. believe, and to ease our journey in that profession, did not mean that we would not face any difficult challenge in it, any negative things, but to ease us with the patience, sabrun jamil, a beautiful patience that make us positive and reflecting towards every test and challenge presented to us, in this life, including our career. in hadith one the prophet saw mentioned, 

It is narrated on the authority of Amirul Mu'minin, Abu Hafs 'Umar bin al-Khattab, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

i know it's not easy. i dont think it is. but hopefully that with Allah's help, Allah's blessings, we would be able to face this dunya, the reality with an open heart, (redha)  inshaAllah. a career is just another tool for us to achieve the goal in akhirah. so whatever tool and blessing given from Allah, we have to use it wisely for our best effort to achieve the best in jannah, which is forever and everlasting. don't let our career be a reason for our failure to become an abid and khalifah in this world.

and of course, for myself, first and foremost to fall in love with this career, we need to take whatever it needs to be a good muslim, and thus inshaAllah, with our iman, we will be guided to love and learn the career as time goes by.

this wordly life is not meant to be easy, that's why Allah grant jannah to those who face it with islam, and true faith (iman). it is not easy to face something you hate, it only becomes easy once you fall in love with it. love the right thing. and so, love  Allah, and He will take care of you. amin, inshaAllah

salam ramadhan kareem, 

farahfareen

 

tiada yang lebih pemurah

kabur, samar dan kelabu. mungkin itu sedikit ungkapan saya tentang cuaca yang kurang baik di Malaysia sejak belakangan ini. Namun, di sebalik ujian yang Allah hadirkan buat kita ini, terlalu banyak yang boleh kita pelajari dan muhasabahkan terutamanya diri sendiri. Jujur saat ini saya diuji dengan masa lapang, sehingga saya seolah merasakan sangat 'loser' jika gagal menjadi produktif untuk mengisi hari-hari di rumah ini dengan baik. Mujur ada adik tersayang menemani kerana menghabiskan cuti study week di rumah, hadirlah beberapa peluang untuk saya berkongsi tentang kehidupan, refleksi dan mencari inspirasi. Kita, manusia, terkadang tidak dapat melepaskan diri dari cengkaman sunyi saat sendiri, dan yang lebih bahayanya adalah syaitan itu teramat suka membisik dan menggoda untuk merobekkan iman kita saat sendirian. Dan benarlah kata-kata ini, serigala hanya berani menerkam sang kambing saat ia sendirian.

namun itu bukanlah alasan untuk kita menyalahkan keadaan dan berputus asa. sudah tentu tidak. walaupun dalam keadaan tanah air yang sangat menuntut kesabaran diri untuk mengadaptasi dengan cuaca baru ini, saya cuba untuk memujuk diri menjadi positif. saat diri terkadang berusaha teramat mencari cara selesa untuk menghirup nyamannya udara yang segar, namun haba yang terkadang hangat membaluti tubuh ini, membuat saya refleksi, ah, neraka nanti lebih panas. sudah cukupkah aku berusaha menjauhkan diri darinya, sedangkan hangatnya bumi ini terkadang tiada tertahan lagi. bersyukurlah, bersyukurlah masih diberi peluang untuk berusaha menjauhkan diri dari azab-Nya di akhirat kelak. usaha, tidak sepatutnya terhenti sampai mati.

manusia itu mudah alpa. dan saat kita diuji, kita juga terkadang alpa, merasa diri seolah mampu dan terlupa akan Tuhan yang berkuasa atas segala. Tuhan itu sentiasa melihat dan memerhati tingkah laku kita, tidak pernah leka walau sesaat pun. dan manusia ini sifantya kikir, terkadang terlalu berkira-kira dalam menyumbangkan masanya untuk Tuhan, sibuk dan sibuk teramat dengan urusan dunia. tidak salah mengejar dunia, tetapi jangan biarkan ia menggenggam hati kita, hinggakan masa, tenaga dan harta yang Allah kurnia, kita terlupa akan hak untuk menyumbang kepada islam, kepada kebaikan. sedangkan Allah itu sangat pemurah, Maha Pemurah bagi semua hamba-hamba-Nya.

dunia itu seharusnya jadi ibarat bola sepak, dikejar untuk disepak ke gol (matlamat) dan bola hanya sekadar alat untuk mengejar matlamat. bola itu bukan matlamat, saat kita cuba mengejar matlamat, kita harus mematuhi undang- undang bola sepak (peraturan islam) dan berusaha dengan sepenuh hati untuk mengejar matlamat yang cemerlang di akhirat (gol). Bola (dunia) itu bukan untuk disimpan untuk jadi milik kita selamanya.

dalam surah Az- Zumar ayat 32-35; Allah berfirman "dan orang yang membawa kebenaran dan orang yang membenarkannya, mereka itulah orang yang bertakwa. Mereka memperoleh apa yang mereka kehendaki di sisi Tuhannya, demikianlah balasan bagi orang-orang yang berbuat baik, agar Allah menghapus perbuatan mereka yang paling buruk, yang pernah mereka lakukan dan memberi pahala kepada mereka dengan yang lebih baik daripada apa yang mereka kerjakan"

Betapa bertuahnya kita, jika benar menjadi hamba yang membawa kebenaran Islam dan membenarkannya, kerana Allah menjanjikan balasan yang bukan sedikit, tetapi lebih dari apa yang dapat kita bayangkan. dosa diampuni, malah pahala berganda, diberi apa saja yang diminta, dan  untuk setiap kebaikan yang dibuat dengan niat yang betul. bayangkan jika telah berbuat kesalahan yang terbesar kepada manusia, sudah tentu sukar teramat buat mereka untuk mengampuni kita, apatah lagi memberi anugerah dan hadiah yang kita ingini kemudiannya. subhanallah. Allah itu sebaik- baik pemberi, tiada apa yang dapat menandingi kurnia-Nya.

Allah memperingatkan lagi kita tentang sifat Maha Pemurah-Nya dalam ayat seterusnya surah az-zumar ayat 53, "katakanlah bahawa hamba-hamba-Ku yang melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri! Janganlah mereka berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa semuanya. Sungguh Allah Dialah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang"

nah, tiada alasan lagi buat kita untuk tidak bermujahadah melawan hawa nafsu dan mencuba sehabis daya mematuhi perintah dan menjauhi larangan-Nya. sungguh, janji Allah itu benar dan pasti. syurga atau neraka itu pengakhiran abadi. pilihan dan usaha di tangan kita saat diri masih dipanjangkan usia dan dikurnia rezeki.

yakinlah, wahai diri dan semua, yakinlah. tiada yang lebih pemurah selain Dia.

home again, dearest

As salam wbt dear friends and fellow readers. By the time you are reading this, I am already back in this beloved country, warmth and where the sun loves to shine, Malaysia. I was in an 11 hours flight with a friend, waiting impatiently for the flight to end safely. Then the Malaysia Airlines crew announced that the weather and local temperature is around 27 degree celcius. Wow! such a big difference to where I came from, it was winter with below 10 degree celcius temperature and suddenly I am in this summer like weather. Honestly I was afraid of having a weather shock, because previously I was back for two times, and both times I had a long fever, due to weather shock. But yeah, alhamdulillah, I am all safe and sound at home, in  beloved hometown, Ipoh today. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

And of course, I am trying to fit myself into this new environment, new people and new atmosphere. It is not like I am trying to deny the fact that Malaysia is changed, but the truth is within this three years and a half, we could not expect people to be the same. We are changed. Yes, we do. In our own ways. I try not to compare what some people used to be, and how they have changed now. Because personally I expect myself to be able to adapt with this challenge, to start from zero. To get to know the places I used to be, to carry all the memory and good experiences in NZ, to bring it all here and to compile it to become a much more better person, with a much better attitude and heart, inshaAllah. To start knowing everything around me now, with a much better judgement, an open mind and a humble heart. Yes, three years and a half in New Zealand, I wished for nothing less, but to be a person who is humble but firm with her own life principle according to what Allah wants me to be, to carry the abid and khalifah duty, always and always.

Another thing that made me reflect is that I could not be sad to leave NZ, neither I should be happy to be in Malaysia. Because everything is in perfect balance, the joy and the frustration should made me calm, to be able to face this neutrally. And why should I ever feel sad? Allah is everywhere, He is indeed very near to me, much more nearer than vein in our neck. No matter where I'd be after this, Allah will look after me, He knows what is best for me.  and for now, is the best time to be home again..To always remind myself, that what Allah has planned for me, is indeed better than whatever I could wish for, whatever I would dream of.

Al Baqarah : 216, is a meaningful verse talking about the destiny that sometimes we might ponder what the hidden benefits are. we, as Allah's servants knows nothing, but He's the one who knows and the all-knowing. So, in this current time, it is important to be grateful, to feel blessed to be given another chance and be someone better in your own birth place. InshaAllah.

And to appreciate those we were supporting me in NZ, and those who are here with me in Malaysia, only Allah could repay all your kindness and good deeds. May Allah bless each of you who has never stop giving up on me, always keeping me in your prayers and hopes, you are all the best gifts in my life. May Allah grant us the best return, in whichever ways He desires, may Allah grant us His blessings both in this world and in the hereafter. To all my sisters, and family in NZ, Allah is indeed with us, always and we are all still together in this path, for His blessing inshaAllah, may we meet again in Jannah. Amin ya rabb.

and I do not what to say more, but to wish and pray for all of you, may Allah bless each and everyone of us. no matter where life and destiny is taking us after this, always believe that there is a huge lesson that Allah wants us to learn from, each moment, each person, and each second. and may all these gifts and tests that Allah has given us, make us a better person each day. InshaAllah.

salam from uniquely Malaysia,

farah fareen

raise your hand

salam buat rakan pembaca blog ini. maafkan saya kerana begitu lama telah mengabaikan ruang penulisan ini, salah sendiri mungkin masih belum efektif dalam pengurusan masa, atau mungkin kerana dek terlalu banyak tuntutan tugasan yang menanti sejak beberapa minggu yang lalu. Apa pun sebabnya, saya tidak mahu menjadikan itu alasan untuk saya berhenti menulis dan melukis ekspresi diri melalui ruang penulisan yang tidak seberapa ini. kerana di ruangan yang kecil inilah saya belajar erti refleksi; mungkin secara terperinci disebabkan diri ini memang seorang yang sangat kritikal orangnya. jadi, maafkan saya sekali lagi andai ada terdapat nukilan nukilan saya yang anda dapati agak asing; kerana pemikiran saya yang mungkin agak rumit terkadang untuk anda fahami.

sebenarnya saya sudah punya beberapa tajuk sejak beberapa minggu ini, tetapi malangnya tidak punya waktu untuk mengarangnya dengan baik. maka di kesempatan ini, saya ingin berkisah tentang perihal ujian. ya, ujian yang semua insan hadapi, tidak kiralah bangsa, agama atau lain-lain; secara fitrahnya Allah benar akan menguji kita, di setiap tangga dan peringkat kehidupan. mahu ataupun tidak, suka ataupun benci.

maaf saya bukan bermaksud untuk membuat anda memandang ujian sebagai suatu perkara yang negatif, malahan sebaliknya. ujian dan nikmat itu bersilih ganti, namun berapa kali saat kita ditimpa ujian, kita benar- benar mampu menghadapinya dengan baik dan hati yang redha. saya juga mengaku bahawa diri ini kerap kali menghadapi cubaan dan dugaan, dan saya bukanlah orang yang sempurna untuk bercerita kepada anda tentangnya, tetapi pengalaman dan kisah rakan seperjuangan di sini telah banyak mematangkan saya dalam menilai cara menghadapi ujian, membantu mereka yang kesusahan dan juga berusaha memahami keadaan untuk mencari penyelesaian.

ujian? bermakna anda perlu meletakkan diri dalam posisi seorang yang sedang mengambil ujian atau peperiksaan. kondisinya sama. mengapa? saya hampir pasti bahawa kebanyakan dari kita pernah menduduki apa jua ujian, walau sekali dalam seumur hidup. dan apatah lagi dengan situasi sistem pendidikan di Malaysia, sangat menuntut kita untuk cemerlang dalam setiap ujian ini. namakan semua, upsr, pmr, spm, stpm dan banyak lagi. nah, apa yang terjadi saat kita berada dalam dewan peperiksaan? selain hati yang berdegup laju kerana resah memikirkan jawapan yang bakal dilontarkan dalam ujian tersebut.

kemudian, guru atau ketua pemeriksa akan meminta kita untuk menjawab soalan yang diberi, dan ada kala kita terpaksa membuat pilihan di antara beberapa pilihan jawapan yang diberikan. contohnya, soalan MCQ, yang punya empat pilihan jawapan, A,B,C atau D. dan mahu atau tidak mahu, keliru atau tidak keliru, akhirnya kita hanya dibenarkan untuk menghitamkan satu sahaja ruang jawapan, atau jika tidak, markah kita tidak dikira. dan kita langsung tidak dibenarkan mengangkat tangan untuk bertanyakan manakah jawapan yang betul. kerana itu melanggar peraturan ujian tersebut.

makanya, keadaan yang hampir sama berlaku saat Allah menghadirkan ujian buat kita dalam liku kehidupan ini. tetapi terdapat satu perbezaan besar. saat Allah memberi ujian, kita terkadang memilih untuk mencari sahabat, atau keluarga untuk mengadu tentang perihal masalah yang dihadapi. sedangkan pilihan jawapan yang telah dibentangkan buat kita bagi jawapan tersebut adalah satu; bukan empat. dan jawapan itu adalah pasti jawapan yang betul. jawapan itu ialah Allah, ya Allah mahu kita memilih Dia sebagai tempat yang pertama-tama untuk kita bergantung saat diberi ujian. Allah mahu kita mengadu pada-Nya, berdoa dan memohon diberi kemudahan dan katabahan untuk menghadapi ujian tersebut. kerana Allah yang lebih tahu, Dia yang berkuasa menghadirkan ujian itu buat kita, bukan manusia atau makhluk lainnya.

dan saat ujian menimpa juga, Allah mahu kita menadah tangan, mengangkat tangan meminta, bertanya, berdoa dan mengadu pada-Nya, kerana hanya Allah yang punya jawapan. dan kita tidak perlu risau akan apa-apa balasan jika tempat pergantungan yang pertama kita adalah Allah swt semata-mata. ini tidak melanggar peraturan ujian. maka sahabat, ayuh kita renungkan kembali perjalanan dan liku hidup ini, berapa banyak usaha yang telah dilakukan untuk menghadapi ujian dengan cara yang terbaik.

namun kita sebagai manusia acap kali terlupa dan terleka bahawa kehadiran ujian itu sebenarnya adalah untuk mengingatkan kembali diri kita, bahawa hanya Allah satu-satunya tempat pergantungan, tempat meletakkan harapan, dan satu-satunya kuasa yang mampu mengubah kondisi kita pada saat itu. Allah sahaja yang mampu membolak-balikkan hati kita; sama ada tenang mahupun resah atau tertekan untuk menghadapi ujian tersebut. Lantas Allah berfirman dalam sebuah surah tentang peringatan untuk terus mengingati-Nya saat ujian datang menerpa;

"(iaitu) orang-orang yang apabila mereka ditimpa musibah (malapetaka), mereka berkata: 

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un.

 (bahawa sesungguhnya kita kepunyaan Allah dan kita akan kembali kepadaNya)"

Al-Baqarah :56

bukankah Allah yang telah mencipta kita, dari setetes air mani dan kemudian berkembang biak menjadi keturunan manusia seluruhnya? bukankah alam semesta ini milik-Nya yang penuh hiknah dan rahsia penciptaan? bukankah suatu hari nanti ajal bakal menjemput kita untuk kembali kepada-Nya? mengapa kita masih diulit rasa ragu untuk meminta pada-Nya; percayalah ragu dan was-was itu sebenarnya adalah bisikan syaitan yang cuba memesongkan kebergantungan kita dari Allah; kepada selain-Nya. Nauzubillah.

tidak salah bergantung kepada manusia lainnya, tetapi berimanlah bahawa mereka hanyalah medium yang Allah izinkan dan hantarkan untuk membantu kita, hanya jika kita pertama-tama berserah diri kepada-Nya saat ujian tiba. Manusia, harta benda, ubat dan sebagainya cumalah ikhtiar kita untuk menyelesaikan sesuatu masalah, namun semua itu berlaku atas izin Allah juga. Allah adalah matlamat, sedangkan medium lain cumalah sebagai alat untuk mencapai matlamat.

dan di situlah letaknya tawakal. tawakal di sepanjang usaha kita untuk mencari keredhaan Allah dalam setiap nikmat mahupun ujian yang menimpa. tawakal bahawa kita sudah mengusahakan yang terbaik, berdoa, dan maka tawakal itu tandanya kita menyerahkan segala hasilnya pada Allah, dan agar Allah meredhakan hati kita dengan apa jua keputusan dan ketentuan yang hadir setelah itu.

“Dan bertawakkallah kepada Allah. Sesungguhnya Dialah Yang Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengetahui.”

Surah Al-Anfal : 61

"Dan hanya kepada Allahlah, hendaknya orang-orang mu’min bertawakal."

Surah Al-i-Imran : 122

ayuh, kita kembalikan semua usaha, doa dan tawakal kita kepada pemilik jiwa, Allah swt. Moga Dia memberkati tiap langkah kita dan mengikhlaskan hati-hati kita dalam mengharungi perjalanan yang berliku ini. Sungguh syurga itu mahal, dan cuma mereka yang benar-benar menginginkannya, bakal memberikan yang terbaik untuk menjadi penghuninya. InshaAllah.

~kurang 50 hari di bumi kiwi, sungguh hati ini sudah tertaut dengan tarbiyyah Allah di sini. moga diri ini mampu terus istiqamah di tanah air nanti. Amin ya Rabb. doakan saya. 

Jazakallahukhairan kathira. Assalamualaikum.

am a painter on the edge

as salam and hi again to all fellow readers. am sorry for abandoning this little room of my writings for quite a while, but it seems that I am running out of ideas; most probably because there's too much things happening quite recently; which kinda related to my future plannings bla...bla...and yeah, at the end of the day, I did feel quite fragile in pursuing my dreams; will I gonna be able to turn it to reality? Only Allah knows. and the metaphor is; am a painter on the edge, that I have so many things to design and paint my dreams, but I felt so fragile and insecure of painting them while standing on the edge of a cliff.

But the truth is; no matter what life throws at me; it made me realized that we are servant, created to depend on our Master, Allah swt and therefore, it is ok to feel weak at times, it is ok to feel helpless, but just remember each time this feelings came to you; that you have Allah to depend on, to put your hopes to. to hold onto. and most importantly, Allah swt is the Only One who could make your wishes come true.

But indeed, indeed we have so many wishes in this life. this and that; all that we could ever ask for. but be careful of what you wish for, because it's going to determine what we are going to make out of it. it is not wrong to wish for a sport car, for example, but do ponder, and think; what are the benefits of having a sport car to myself? my attitude? my hereafter? will my attitude change because of having such a luxurious car envied by everyone, will I feel so ego that I forgot my effort for hereafter? what would such wish done to us?

this is where the power of wisdom lies.

what we wish for in this life, Allah swt will give it to us, according what He thinks is best for us; not what we think is best for ourselves. Perhaps having a big house, will not do good to our attitude; and thus, we have a medium but a comfy house. Perhaps, just perhaps, becoming doctor will be a burden that we could not fulfill, thus we become a teacher who could educate the young generations. the power of wisdom is crucially important so that we could evaluate what are things that we really need and choices we have, and to always ponder what benefits will it bring to us? are we being so greedy that we want to have it all? or one after another. 

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

"Have you seen the one whose god is his own ego? Will you be his advocate?"

Al Furqan : 43

mankind by nature has ego; and arrogant at times. and this ego could destroy us. Allah gives us what we really need, cause Allah is the all knowing; and by doing that He prevented us from destroying ourselves with this ego. for those who are too greedy, ungrateful for what they already have; in other words, will only trying to destroy themselves. Those who are greedy of this world, could not run from what Allah has decided for them. Na'uzubillah.

“And thou wilt find them greediest of mankind for life and (greedier) than the idolaters. (Each) one of them would like to be allowed to live for a thousand years. And to live (a thousand years) would by no means remove him from the doom. Allah is Seer of what they do.”

Al Baqarah : 96

Have you heard of the story of the three loaves of bread by Yusuf Estes? The man who lied so that he could have all the fortune, what happened to him at the end of the day?

Therefore, as human, as Allah's servants, I am reminding myself and others inshaAllah, to be grateful, and to always be hopeful, as long as we follow the path that Allah has chosen for us; which is to follow the Quran and Sunnah; always bear in mind that Allah's help is near. 

"We created man, We know the prompting of his soul, and We are closer to him than his jugular vein."

Al- Qaf :16

and to remind ourselves, Allah sends us storms and winds, so that we could bent our knees, which is perfect position to pray. Beautiful words from Yasmin Mogahed.

it reminds me to these two powerful zikr that the Prophet's companions always repeat at difficult times; 

"la haw la wala quwwata illa billah- there's no power nor might by/ with Allah."

"hasbunallahi wani'mal wakeel - indeed Allah alone is sufficient for us"

last week a miracle happened to my sister; she is diagnosed to be healthy and despite the fact she had the wrong medicine for years, Allah saved her from what we think could affect her liver and kidneys badly. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. the power of pray and tawakal is so important; that we should surrender and submit our lives to Allah, He is our only hope. and to always have good thoughts about what Allah decided for us. don't ever estimate the power of being optimistic; as Muslims, we should always be  an optimist, because we have Allah, the Creator, the Almighty. and soon, the truth shall prevail. 

Kun fayakun. and from Him we came, to Him we shall return.

less than 100 days here,

farahfareen

mengukir pelangi

musim panas yang bakal tiba ke penghujung, persis sekali cuaca di tanah air. bumi yang menjadi ibu kota kebanggaan rakyat kiwi ini jarang sekali hilang sentuhan bayunya, bayu yang terkadang membuat diri sukar menghadirkan langkah seperti biasa. syukur atas segala nikmat dan kurniaan Tuhan, apa jua kehendak-Nya, lantas itulah yang terbaik buat kita, atas sebab dan semua dengan izin-Nya. inshaAllah.

dan diri ini akhirnya kaku lagi pada kata-kata. ya, lidah manusia ini kadang tidak mengenal mangsa, dan acap kalinya juga bisa mengukir bahagia. kata-kata yang kita hadirkan buat mereka, terkadang meluncur laju, lebih laju dari kelajuan cahaya, namun di saat kata-kata itu dibunyikan dan didengarkan mereka, hati membisik kesal. salahkah? apa silapnya? dan mengapa maksud yang dicari itu masih tidak hadir, sebaliknya mengundang respon berbisa. sayang sekali, kata-kata itu telah melontarkan prasangka, sedangkan tujuannya membungakan bahagia.

dan aku memperingat diri sendiri. betapa kata-kata ada banyaknya tidak perlu diungkap, cukup dengan sekadar diam, mengukir senyuman atau sekadar singgah di fikiran. tidak perlu terlalu diamati dan diukir dalam hati, apatah lagi kata-kata berbisa, atau kata yang tidak membawa makna. bukankah kesabaran itu tinggi dan teramat bertuah bagi mereka yang memilikinya? bukankah kita telah diperingatkan dengan kata-kata dari kitab indah dalam sebuah surah;

Dan hamba-hamba al-Rahman (Yang Maha Mengasihani) itu (ialah) orang yang berjalan di atas bumi dengan rendah hati, dan apabila orang jahil menegur mereka, maka mereka mengucapkan kata-kata “salam” Al Furqan : 63.

rendah hati. itulah sifat manusia yang sentiasa punya kesabaran dalam jiwa, saat manusia lain mengukir kata luka atau dusta, dia tidak merasa besar, bangga diri atau jauh lebih baik, sebaliknya mendoakan sang pembicara selamat sejahtera, salam, agar dia tidak dibalas dengan kata yang lebih menyakitkan. sungguh, keimanan ini yang kita cita- citakan, dan impikan agar satu hari mampu membuahkan cinta kepada saudara seagama, menerima kelemahan mereka, bersabar dan juga akhirnya, membimbing mereka kembali ke pangkal jalan, dengan penuh ketenangan untuk mencari keredhaan Tuhan.

dakwah itu bermula dengan kata-kata, dibuktikan dengan amal, dengan niat yang suci dari sekeping hati. dakwah itu cinta," ibarat pohon yang sentiasa memberikan buah, walau dilontar dengan batu oleh mereka yang tidak memahami." kata indah, inspirasi buat diri, dari imam hasan al bana, pendukung dakwah yang memaknai cinta kerana Allah dalam hidupnya.

kebaikan itu tidak asing dengan kita, bukanlah terlalu jauh untuk menggapainya. kerana fitrah kita, sebagai manusia, makhluk Allah, akan sentiasa sukakan kebaikan. usahalah diri, perbaiki amal pancainderamu, lidah dan semuanya; agar kelak bahagia di akhirat sana. inshaAllah.

dakwah bermula dengan diri sendiri, dan kemudian ia tersebar kerana cinta, kerana cinta kepada Allah, Maha Pencipta.

"dakwah padaku ibarat pelangi, yang dikau ukirkan buat mereka agar sama-sama menikmati keindahannya; sehingga mereka juga mampu mengukir pelangi yang sama, buat yang lainnya"

a journey of love - sarah's visit 20012013-31012013

snippets of our jouney.
auckland- rongitoto island- queenstown- milford sound- glenorchy- arrowtown- west coast- fox glacier- arthur's pass- christchurch- wellington.

Are we in paradise yet?

As salam dear readers, it's been a while i know, but yeah hopefully this little sharing today could give us some benefits and something to ponder upon and most importantly taking actions. And i am just going to copy a snippet of page from my book named reclaim your heart, by Yasmin Mogahed. Well, i must admit that she really inspired me in looking at this life from a different and a much better perspective in becoming a better muslim inshaAllah.

"Imagine only having good in your life. That is the state of this type of believer, as the Prophet pbuh says: "wondrous are the believer's affairs, for him there is good in all his affairs, and this is so only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him he is grateful, and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him, he is enduring (sabr), and that is good for him." (Narrated by muslim)

"And so in the heart of such a believer is a such of paradise. That is the paradise that Ibn Taimiyyah, may Allah have mercy on his soul, spoke of when he said, "truly there is heaven in this world (and) whoever does not enter it, will not enter the heaven of the next world"

And in that heaven, complete peace is not something of a moment. It is a state, eternal"
Page 36 & 37 (chapter; peace on a rooftop, from reclaim your heart, yasmin mogahed)

And so we wonder, the type of believer whose hearts are like paradise, calm and at peace in no matter what conditions apply to him, how the surrounding could pressure him, he will always be in peace, accepting and sabr. We ponder to ourselves, are we included in such type of believer? Are we good enough? But of course, it is the struggle that we face in this life to become such believer. It is with these everything that we are in, we have and dont have now, we should try and always try to be such believer. InshaAllah.

And to always remind ourselves, that life in this world could be deceiving sometimes when we lose focus. When we suddenly put our attention or attachment other than Allah, to people, to things, to money and everything else. That is our mistake. Knowing that shaytan will never give up to make us forget this fact. The fact that everything belongs to Allah, it is Allah we should depends on, and no others. No one but Him.

The second reality, we look deep into our hearts. Try to look inside, what is it occupying our hearts? Is is the love of this dunya? A love to a person or things or status? Is occupied by our dreams and ambitions? Is that only? How much of our hearts is occupied by love to Allah and Rasul? Our deen? This is a scaring reality, even for me myself, i dare not to say, my heart is pure from all the desires or nafs, but still, i am sure that in each of our hearts that there is love to Allah, but the question is, whether that heart is continuously poured by our love to Him only, which only then, our heart could be like a paradise as what Ibn Taimiyyah has mentioned. Your heart is a paradise, when it could love everything that Allah loves, and leave everything that Allah forbids, enduring in patience and acceptance. Just like the heart of the Prophet pbuh, and his companions.

MasyaAllah, how beautiful is that? Indeed the paradise in this world is not far, it is in ourselves, our souls, our hearts. We should try to build it by ourselves, with our iman, our faith, our deeds, and our deen. It isn't that far, isn't it? InshaAllah, once the paradise in ourselves are built, we would feel like home, near to our home in the hereafter, the paradise itself, jannah. Didn't our father, adam a.s. originated from the heaven?

It is possible inshaAllah, by continously reminding each other, our friends, our siblings, our families and everyone that Allah's promise will come true, to those who believe in Him.

Therefore, a question that we need to answer and remind ourselves in order to improve is probably, are we in paradise yet?

pouring loves in the rain

a gloomy evening I could say. the day here today began with the bright, beautiful sun shining in the earth; while in the evening, at this very moment I am writing; everything is almost grey. that's how fast life changes, for we do not know what we will face in the next moment, the next second. it is all written, even me myself do not know how I would end this entry. my hand is typing what I 'plan' to say, but the words are basically like pouring all the way. we are human, we plan and plan. we make effort and tried our best, but the end, the result and the ultimate decision belongs to Allah, The Most Powerful Creator. and that's what I am going to talk about today. it's about the written and the plan that we had.

 the destiny and the chances that we could create. is what this is about.

have we ever thought for a second, that life is shaped by destiny as Allah has written in the Luh Mahfuz, but yet He is still giving a lot, lots of choices for us in this life. We might be a student, a doctor, a teacher or a lawyer someday, with His willing, but the choices  when 'being' a student, doctor, lawyer etc..is still ours to make. the same thing applied to our life. i give you an analogy, a bird is given wings, a cat is given   a fish, yet the bird could choose whether or not to fly; looking after its food, it could simply choose to stay on the ground and feed the worms, for example, while the cat given the fish might or might not choose to eat the fish, some cats like meat better than fish, some likes fresh fish and not 'fried fish'. They are making choices, even what is written for them, they are still bird and fish.

in our daily life path, all the people we met, all the roads taken, all the channels watched, all the music heard. everything is by choosing. we are given choices. that's when we could take chances. these are all our chances, to be good or bad. do you know that only with a good intention you will be rewarded by Allah with one good written, and if you pursue yourself to do it; you'll gain more.

Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, related from his Lord the Blessed and Exalted, “Verily, Allah has recorded good and bad deeds and He made them clear. Whoever intends to perform a good deed but does not do it, then Allah will record it as a complete good deed, but if he intends to do it and does so, then Allah the Exalted will record it as ten good deeds up to seven hundred times as much or even more; if he intends to do a bad deed and does not do it, then Allah will record for him one complete good deed, but if he does it then Allah will record for him a single bad deed.”

[Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Number 237]

yes, we could never be sure; what is written ahead. but the life offers us chances, too many chances that we could create; not just to wait. a chance to be good, a chance to do what is right. if you are given a million, what bad and good chances could you create? still both of these choices would have its impact on you. that's for sure.

therefore, it is a matter of good judgement and being wise in creating good chances for ourselves, for what Allah promise us is true. do good and you will be rewarded. do bad, you will get your punishment. but we often forgot, cheated by our desires, manipulated by this 'worldly' beauty, which later affect our judgement of what is right and wrong. what is good, and otherwise.

as simple as it could be, while walking you might encounter poor, needy people. well that is the time to create good chance or plan, drop a coin or something beneficial. while you driving, others might suddenly cut your lines, being rude and simply ignoring the laws, here is the chance, to have patience. your parents need your care, cause they are sick or they are missing you cause you are too far away, create the chance, give them a call, pay them frequent visits if you can. this is another chance. looking at a sad face, why not smile?

life presents us with so many chances. although it is all written, there is not an excuse to stop creating chances. am talking about good chances. we are human, having imperfections to perfect each other by the good choices made. we are Muslims, blessed with many abilities and talent, intellectual in our own way. InshaAllah. indeed Allah says in the Quran;

"You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah . If only the People of the Scripture had believed, it would have been better for them. Among them are believers, but most of them are defiantly disobedient." Al Imran : 110

let us try and improve our judgement which is our own faith, our iman to Allah swt. this is the only guard who could determine the good or bad choices; that we could create. may our judgement not affected by our desires and syaitaan, nauzubillah. i would suggest my other article, about how we should take care of our faith here; faith article.

mashaAllah, the sun is shining again, while I am in the middle of finishing this entry.  subhanallah. told you I do not know how I would end this entry (':

let us pour our hearts with the rain of His love,
farahfareen



p/s: looking forward to write about my travelog journey with a best friend coming from Malaysia this Sunday, may Allah ease our journey, amin.