Those Strong People in My Life That Inspire Me

These few days have made me reflected a lot about the people around me who I considered to be extraordinarily strong. Yes, it is true, each human being faces different tests in life, and that most of the decisions and our plannings in life are sometimes out of our control. It is not because we did not make good enough plans or not deciding the best things for us, but it is because life is already in written in a way that we that we sometimes find it hard to understand. 

This is destiny. But to blame and put everything as it is just because it was written or destined; that is not fair. Life is not about being fair to ourselves only, but it is about reaching a balance. The balance between what we can control and what we could not. 

Of course, it is easy to console ourselves and convince that everything is already written and that we should accept things as they are. But hey, stop blaming our destiny for own failures when we did not put enough effort to change it. Just like you cannot blame destiny for falling when you were walking while texting. Just like you cannot blame people when you got into an accident, because you drove away when the traffic light was blinking red. But to seek a balance is by doing and giving our very best to reach our dreams, but when destiny disagree, we are able to accept and keep moving forward.

But the question of acceptance and being in denial about our destinies are actually related much to our faith. The faith that we could survive despite all those things written for us, the faith that we would not be tested beyond our capabilities. The faith that we are still here today, given the chance to imrpove ourselves though there are moments in the past that almost make us give up hope.

It is just that there are moments in life that make us doubt about this faith, that makes things difficult. That make us begin to blame and question our incapabilites or destiny. Those moments, that make us doubtful, are always going to be a part of our lives' journey ahead. This is true, because as we grow older, be more matured each day, the tests are going to be different. We learn, fall and keep learning to stand up again. And each time we stood up after falling, we gain different perspectives and understanding of life, we have new sources of courage in our hearts and most importantly, we learn from our mistakes.

The tests in life are going to be bigger, tougher and greater as we step forward towards our future undertakings. So, it is a matter of growing up our own faith, patience, perseverance, and honesty towards ourselves. That we can, and will be able to face new challenges in life no matter how difficult it is going to be, with one and only one condition. That we promise ourselves to grow our wisdom and learn each time we face new tests in life. 

This is because the moment we refuse to learn from life, life will disappoint us in a way that we could never imagine. So, dont stop learning.

Life in Malaysia has been teaching me a lot; although I have spent less than two months here. To my previous life back in Melbie, I will surely miss you and you'll always be a great teacher that will be a part of my life forever. 

This post is dedicated to my friends who face new challenges in life everyday, that inspired me to be as strong and to have patience of learning what life is about. To dearest friends that taught me, although life might have different plannings for us, but to have faith that the good and the truth will always be the winner that keep us going. To inspiring friends, you are among the reasons I will not give up learning about life and writing about it. 

Thanks, although I could never thank you enough.

Time is less!

Firstly, I would like to thank and appreciate all the wishes and prayers from my family and friends, yesterday 16th of September. Your wishes and prayers have truly made my day and will go a long way to remind me of being strong; to face the tough journey ahead. Indeed, being far away from home, made me learn to appreciate them more. Yes, time flies and yesterday means, I am adding another digit to what we called 'age', of course. 

But yes, age is just a measurement, a tool to measure how much time have you spent in this life, in this world since you were born. And the funny thing is, we celebrate birthdays, with our beloveds because it signifies a special day for us. Nevertheless, it is also maybe to celebrate the maturity that we are getting because of longer, and more experiences gained than before.

On the other hand, age could also mean the opposite. It means, you probably have longer time to live than your birthday age, or most probably, not. We never know. We will never ever know it. And that is why, for me, birthday is one way I like to remind myself, that when my age are added by another year, it means I have less time to prepare myself. Prepare for what the real life is, in the hereafter.

To be prepared in becoming a true servant to Allah, to become an abid and khalifah, who is always conscious of what he or she is doing in this world, to have taqwa and to meet our Creator in jannah, inshaAllah. And because the world is coming to an end, although we never know when, but it will. And thus, for ourselves, one thing is definitely sure, we are going to leave this world.

And so, for myself, use your time well. Treasure the people around you, be significant to others by giving and enjoy the joy of giving. Even if it is just a piece of advice. Give anything within your capacity, to benefit others. Because time, is now becoming less and it is moving, fast.

Finally, Happy Malaysia Day; am proud to be part of you and share a birthday with you, Malaysia!!  (Yesterday) :)

Pilihan

sungguh terlalu lama tidak menukilkan bicara dan untaian fikiran di ruang yang kerdil, namun cukup memberi erti di sini. Kerana tidak semua kata-kata itu, layaknya lahir daripada sang lidah. Dan terkadang ada banyak kata indah dari minda, yang lebih cantik tertafsir melalui pena. Hari ini, aku cuba mencari inspirasi itu, inspirasi yang jarang-jarang dapat aku nukilkan dengan tulisan....

Sudah tentu apa yang ditakdirkan Tuhan itu punya seribu hikmah yang tersimpan, tetapi kerana diri yang lemah mengatur perjalanan, diri ini teraba-raba mencari hikmah dalam perjalanan hidup yang cukup menguji kesabaran. Dan diri ini juga terkadang alpa, mendoakan kekuatan dari Allah yang Maha Mendengar, Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbisik dalam setiap hati hamba milik-Nya. Ahh, kamu yang terlalu suka melayan perasaan! terlalu banyak masa yang telah dibazirkan; biarlah ada usaha yang dicipta, tatkala dirimu cuba merenung kesalahan, memperbaiki kesalahan, bukannya sekadar merintih kosong, dihanyut kesedihan. Masih, dan masih lagi aku ulang nasihat itu pada diri. Namun itulah, manusia yang terlalu cepat alpanya kerana merasakan dirinya serba cukup, apabila ditimpa kesusahan, mulalah merintih seolah tiada kesudahan.

Merintih kamu biar pada yang sudi mendengar. Merintih kamu, biarlah ada juga doa dan sisi harapan yang membangkitkan, membangunkan jiwa yang kepenatan kerana alpanya mengikut godaan dunia. Merintih kamu, biarlah diiringi usaha untuk menambah daya dan merintih kamu bukan kosong semata. Merintih kamu dalam sujud, adalah semata-mata untuk mencari rahmat dan kekuatan yang cuma datang dari-Nya. dan kerana dirimu sedar, bahawa kerdilnya diri seorang hamba, lemahnya sebagai insan, tiada punya apa jika bukan kerana Allah yang Maha Mengasihi tiap jiwa yang sentiasa cuba kembali ke pangkal jalan, mencari redha-Nya. 

Dan moga juga, dalam tiap sujud, doa dan ibadah yang dirimu usahakan, biarlah sentiasa kerana mengharapkan rahmat-Nya, mengharapkan bimbingan hidayah-Nya yang lurus, kerana dunia ini terlalu bersimpang-siur, entah ke mana-mana jalan yang dituju, jika tiada tujuan yang memandu hidupmu. 

Moga sahaja dalam tiap kata atau janji yang cuba engkau zahirkan kepada mereka, diiringi niat yang tulus dan ikhlas untuk memenuhinya. Kerana percayalah, sesaat engkau mengambil mudah kata atau janji yang pernah engkau lafaz pada mereka yang bernama manusia; tidak mudah, terlalu payah untuk mereka mempercayaimu semula. kerana mungkir janji itu bukanlah sifat seorang yang benar-benar tahu dan menghargai, betapa mahalnya harga sebuah janji yang lahir daripada mereka yang disayangi, dan betapa kata-kata itu perlukan pada pembuktian; bukan sekadar angan-angan yang dikau canangkan sebagai harapan kepada mereka.

Hidup ini indah atau tidak, tergantung kepada pilihan dirimu. Kerana pilihan itu sentiasa terbentang luas, terhias indah berbagai warna, cuma yang membezakan adalah mengapa pilihan itu dibuat, adakah sekadar buat kepuasan atau benar-benar kerana ingin mencari redha Tuhan..usahalah, berdoalah dan bertawakallah, kerana hidup ini tidak punya jalan singkat dan kerana syurga itu, milik mereka yang benar-benar menyerah diri sebagai hamba....

Halfway is imaginary

Salam to my fellow readers, alhamdulillah finally managed to post after few busy weeks, I am actually now in my final week of the first semester, and next semester would be my last semester here, or in other words, I am halfway there, inshaAllah in completing my postgrad in tesol.

But anyways, that's not the halfway that am going to talk about, it's just that at this point of my life, halfway of study year, it made me realize how lucky we are to know that we are able to know about our academic year or planning, because there's a lot you could do to plan your weeks ahead effectively and efficiently. But truth is, we will never know when our time in this world would be half, or even quarter, and that, should actually be a constant reminder to us, how much preparations have we made to face the day of judgement, how many good deeds have we done to cover all the sins that we either realise or not. It made me ponder, how short life in this world is, and that even in this world, when we are often given the due dates of this and that, we often delayed or ignore it till the last minute of the given time! How we have always taken things for granted, even if we know the consequence would be bad, like if I submit my summary late, I might not get the best grade.

Emm, I was just reflecting on my few assignments due soon, and I thought that, I need something to motivate me to keep going and give my very best, thus wrote this down to remind myself and others too InshaAllah.

Always believe that Allah is with us, and that we should always purify our hearts and intention whatever we do in this world, including study and whatever, to seek for His blessings, mardhatillah, inshaAllah.

Amin ya rabbal a'lamin.

Till next time, take care :)

A sharing session with Salim A.Fillah : Kisah Julaibib yang penuh ibrah

Bertempat di Coburg Mosque (surau KITA) di Melbourne pada malam 23 April lalu, ana sempat mengikuti sesi perkongsian bersama Ustaz Salim A.Fillah, berikut merupakan satu daripada banyak cerita yang menyentuh hati ketika mendengar perkongsian dari beliau, mashaAllah.

Moga bermanfaat inshaAllah. 

Kisah Julaibib

Tersebut kisah seorang sahabat bernama Julaibib, beliau sering tidak dipeduli oleh banyak orang yang berada di lingkungannya. Dan adapun rupa Julaibib, bukanlah seindah orang biasa, dia diceritakan tidak punya paras rupa yang menarik,dan sering dikatakan punya rupa pelik, sepelik namanya. Namun, Julaibib tidak pernah menjadikan itu sebagai penghalang buat dirinya untuk mengabdi diri kepada Allah, menjadi hamba yang baik yang senantiasa berusaha menyumbang untuk Islam bersama-sama para sahabat yang lain juga bersama Rasulullah saw yang dicintainya.

Dan kerana kegigihan beliau ini, Rasulullah sentiasa menyenangi Julaibib di sisinya berjuang. Dan pernah suatu ketika Rasulullah saw bertanyakan kepada Julaibib, mengapa dia masih belum bernikah, maka dijawabnya Julaibib, dia malu dan merasakan dia tidak layak buat meminang anak gadis kerana rupanya yang dirasakan jelek oleh banyak orang. Namun, Rasulullah akhirnya membantu Julaibib, dengan melamar seorang gadis untuk diri Julaibib, dan bapa kepada gadis itu gembira bukan kepalang kerana menyangkakan Rasulullah saw meminang gadis buat baginda. 

Baginda kemudiannya menjelaskan bahawa anak gadis beliau dipinang bagi pihak Julaibib. Mendengar jawapan baginda saw, sang bapa merasa keberatan, memandangkan sebelum ini dia dan isterinya juga telah banyak menolak pinangan para saudagar di Mekah yang datang untuk melamar anak gadisnya. Namun, si anak gadis itu, tanpa ragu, menyatakan pendiriannya kepada sang bapa, bahawa jika Rasulullah saw yang membuat keputusan untuk meminang dirinya buat Julaibib, dia sanggup menerima dengan penuh lapang dada, walaupun rupanya yang teramat cantik itu, pada kebanyakan orang tiadalag setanding buat Julaibib.

Tidak dapat dipastikan, berapa lama setelah Julaibib menikahi si gadis rupawan itu, namun ada yang mengatakan cuma sehari atau beberapa hari menikah, Julaibib telah dipanggil untuk panggilan jihad mempertahankan Islam di medan perang. Makanya, julaibib dengan rasa penuh semangat menyahut panggilan itu, namun sebelum itu, telah dia pesankan pada isterinya, bahawa jika dia tidak pulang, iaitu syahid di medan perang, maka Julaibib dengan rela hati membenarkan isterinya itu untuk bernikah dengan orang lain, walau mereka terlalu singkat baru menikah.

Dan pada saat muslimin telah selesai berperang dengan musuh Islam, maka Rasulullah dan para sahabat sibuk menguruskan jenazah dan sahabat-sahabat yang tercedera selepas pertempuran. Maka, pada hujungnya Rasulullah saw bertanyakan adakah mereka kehilangan seseorang. Dan mereka dengan yakin menjawab, "tidak ya Rasulullah, semuanya sudah ditemukan dan dikumpulkan. Rasulullah bertanya lagi, "adakah kamu kehilangan seseorang?" Dan mereka tanpa ragu lagi memberi jawapan yang sama. Dan kemudiannya, mereka baru menyedari bahawa Julaibib masih belum ditemukan. 

Setelah mencari, mereka menemukan jasad Julaibib yang penuh luka, bersama beberapa mayat musuh Islam di kelilingnya, jasad Julaibib penuh luka di bahagian depan, menunjukkan betapa dia tidak gentar melawan musuh hingga ke akhir, walau berhadapan dengan ramai musuh dan dia cuma seorang. 

Dan akhirnya, Julaibib mencapai impiannya menjadi seorang yang syahid fi sabilillah. Rasulullah saw begitu mengagumi pengorbanan dan contoh yang Julaibib berikan, Rasulullah saw sendiri kemudian mengangkat jasad Julaibib, didukungnya ke bahunya, kemudian baginda saw sendiri mengkafankan mayat Julaibib. Para sahabat sungguh merasa cemburu dengan penghormatan yang diberikan kepada Julaibib itu, dan akhirnya Rasulullah saw juga yang mengangkat jenazah Julaibib untuk disemadikan ke dalam liang lahad.

Dan isteri Julaibib yang kehilangan suaminya itu kemudiannya bernikah dengan beberapa orang lagi, dan kesemuanya suaminya itu juga syahid di medan perang. Sehingga pernah suatu saat, isteri Julaibib mengatakan, jika ada sesiapa yang ingin syahid di jalan Allah swt, maka menikahlah dengan dirinya.

Betapa, melalui kisah ini terlalu banyak pengajaran dan ibrah untuk kita kutip, dan betapa Allah swt itu akan memuliakan manusia yang benar-benar ikhlas berjuang demi mencari redha-Nya semata, walau mungkin pada mata manusia di dunia, mereka bukanlah orang yang disanjung kerana harta, atau rupa, tetapi ternyata itu bukanlah faktor untuk mengukur taqwa, kerana Allah swt lebih tahu dan Dia yang Maha Mengetahui siapa yang benar-benar layak melihat wajah-Nya kelak. 

In between dreams

I heave heard people talked a lot about this particular interest of mine. English, teaching and everything that might be related to teaching profession in general. But I had not encountered any personal comment or criticism regarding this, until there was one particular point of my life where I was actually steps away to achieve my very first dream. I was struck, and stunned that I just smile in return to hear such comment about my career. I thought, just maybe this particular person did not understand it the way I do. Or yeah, maybe because we just have a very different opinion about what career is considered 'stable' enough to survive. I did not blame anyone, not even the person. 

But what I reflected upon the comment was that, it is time we, begin to change our perceptions regarding people's different paths of life. For it is not our choice to decide, it is not within our power to define others' choices. Because there are more reasons for us to try to understand, before we could just simply jump to a conclusion about someone's life decision. 

I know, that every criticism means that I have more reasons to achieve my dream, more reasons not to give up and also, to prove to myself that I have the right to fight for my dreams regardless of what others say. 

Because at the end of the day, it does not matter whichever career or path that we chose, but the purpose that lies behind our dreams. Is it just to satisfy our own desires in this temporary world? Wasn't it supposed to be bigger than that? The purpose of life is mentioned way before we are created, to serve as abid and khalifah, in time when Allah created Adam a.s. and also, to walk on the right path, seeking for His blessing on this world. 

Al Baqarah verse 30 and Az Zariyyat verse 56. 

And therefore, before we decide to mention even a word about someone's different path especially regarding to their ambition and passion, take a minute, or even longer, for us to ponder, what is the impact of saying even a word, about it? And of course, the very first and foremost words, or comments that we should ever say, are encouraging words, which would motivate and not differentiate. Which would encourage instead of doing damage. And just imagine, how big the impact we could have made if the person is someone of different religion? Wouldn't it be a fitna to ourselves and our religion? This is dangerous. 

Just ponder, and take your time. Because words couldn't be taken back. Once it reaches someone's heart. We could never imagine the impact. 

And am just grateful that I was given the chance to pursue this dream, and may Allah guide me to always stay in the right path in fulfilling my purpose. Amin :) 

#pGdiary : The story of two

During my degree course, I was struck by this particular phrase, "teacher as lifelong learners". And I thought, what does this phrase actually means? Is it to get to the highest level of knowledge, for such a long time learning theories etc etc? But later I discovered the answer is not that, but because teaching is a profession where teachers are required to continuously learn, improving methods, increasing knowledge and become an inspiring teacher, who could turn the weakest students to achieve the best that they have never thought they could. And I must admit, during my degree years, It has been a great, unforgettable experience for both of us. New Zealand is indeed truly the best place my eyes have ever seen, best feelings my heart ever felt, best knowledge I ever get to learn, both for tarbiyyah and the degree itself.

June/ July 2013 : Touched down

As for me and my friend, Intan Syafinaz, our dreams are the same. To do more. Not to say that we are not satisfied with the precious experience we both had in New Zealand, but deep down in our hearts, there is something. An urgency to pursue our dreams, in learning. While we are young, fresh graduates and highly motivated to learn, [of course not yet bound to any commitment, haha]. And ultimately, our goals, [which is one of our subtopics during degrees courses] is to become the lifelong learners, both in teaching profession and also as a student. And most importantly, as future teachers, learning never stops. It never could. Because great teachers are always aiming to do their best for the students, even if it takes to revise the tiniest, simplest rules of grammar and to turn it into the most, engaging, interesting and meaningful learning for our learners, our students. The journey to apply the master programme began since we touched down in Malaysia back in June/ July.

September / October : Practicum

Intan and me fall in love with New Zealand so much, that we decide to pursue our dreams of taking master there, the same university we both entered for four years. Having gone through all those processes, applications and waiting, we finally got the offer to pursue in master of education in victoria while doing our practicum together in Lenggong. However, after discussion with the sponsor, our wish was delayed. It is not possible to go back to vuw, as the master's course are complicated, making it difficult for the sponsor to certify the qualifications later on. Intan and me, were still hoping, somehow, someday, we might get another chance. Because our hopes did not end there.

December : The Graduation and hope continues...

When I came back to NZ for graduation in Dec, I was quite reluctant to leave again. Knowing that my dream to come back for master the next yearin vuw, is impossible. I left with the heaviest heart, hoping that I would get to see Wellington again in a few years time. I continued my holiday journey in Melbourne for a while and then decide, this is the place, this is where I wanna dream of pursuing my master. One day, maybe not this year and next year, maybe not yet, but someday. I would be a student here, I told myself. InshaAllah.

During end of Dec, Intan and me went to Mara, surprisingly knowing that it is still not too late to pursue our dreams! Somehow the door was opened again, for another application in other university. I was terribly excited, that I slept at 2 or 3 am finishing my applications after christmas day, for almost seven different universities in Australia, as time is tight. Really tight. To enter the first semester of the year, Intan and me knows very well, the chances are so slim. While Intan faced many ups and downs during this time too, but she managed to apply a few universities. And then began more and more waiting moments. Wondering, waiting and thinking, when is that email of [offer letter] going to reveal itself to us. 

January 2014 : The Offer Comes!

I did not remember exactly the date, but somehow in Mid January, an email came through. Which was an offer, I jumped with joy, feeling grateful thinking that this might be the chance. To simplify, the sponsor was notified and we both wait, again, this time for sponsor approval. I have to say that during these moments of waiting, Intan and me, keep comforting each other in every way we could, although we both know, and truly aware of the stress we both faced during that time. Emailing universities, sponsor, back and forth. Seems like an endless work. Hard work.

February 2014 : The Destined Destination

This is the busiest month of all. Countless trips to many government offices, documents, procedures, emailis, letters and more than I could ever imagined. Medical check ups, [wont mention the cost]. To be honest, it was exciting but at the same time, a very huge challenge to face. It is like everything is beyond our control. I learned a lot, I learned to keep positive and calm, finding every ounce of patience that I could find, maybe from someone's advice, encouraging words, a call from a friend, soothing words from parents, and also the help from the family, in which I truly truly appreciate what they have done for me. It is a huge test, but we are given, truly wonderful people during this time, and for that, I am truly grateful for what Allah has lined up for me. And I keep repeating, reminding and telling myself, with each difiiculty, there comes an ease. Verses from As-Syarh 5 & 6. 

Just in time when February 2014 is bidding farewell to this particular chapter of my life stories, Intan and me received the big news! She is flying to Canberra, while I am in Melbourne, and with everything is literally 'confirmed and finalised', and suddenly we both felt that those huge burdens carried for such a long time, were lifted at once. And as for me, Mlebourne was indeed the place I am destined to be, to pursue my dream of learning, and becoming a lifelong learner. Although Intan and me are separated by few hundreds miles (eight hours drive), but we have never been that far from each other, because we have the same dream. Together.

Do pray for our sucess and safe return to Malaysia soon. A milllllllion thanks to our families, friends, sponsor, and everyone involved during this meaningful journey. May Allah bless each and everyone of us. Amin :) 

Best regards from Intan Syafinaz and me, Farah Fareen :)