The Mirror That We Chose

It is not always easy to say that we should always be honest to ourselves. Well, honesty of oneself is about admitting the truth about yourself, whether it is weaknesses and strengths. But more often than not, we always fall to the trap of disappointing ourselves because we just could not accept our "real" self. Those challenges that we failed to conquer, those problems awaiting to be solved and those dreams waiting to be turned into reality. But somehow, we moved on and keep walking forward, no matter how disppointing our "real" self could be at times.

It is because during those moments of struggle, we believe in one thing. Or at least, imagine and having an illusion of the success or the better future that we could somehow achieve if we just passed this one particular test or problem in life. We imagined a "self" that successfully overcome the situation or the hurdle, and that we still have hopes to hold onto. The hope that keeps us going. Sooner or later, we realised that those tests that we left behind are just there as a lesson to learn. 

But then comes another challenge. People. Well, I must say that we could never even try to arrange who we want to meet or not in life. And those people who are destined to cross our life path, are not simply there for no reason. They are there to teach us. Me, myself often think, pray and hope that I could minimize the number of having to meet 'hot tempered' people. It is because I just think that I could not handle them, I did not know how to face them, their temper and all the irrelevant ideas that came up from their anger. It was extremely difficult for me to deal with them. 

And at times, I wonder, why am I destined to meet such people? 

I mean, most of the people who knows me admit that I have such a soft, delicate heart and that I am such a fragile person. Well, I have no idea how true is that. But I do not believe that I am a hot tempered person, I am the type of people who keeps everything to themselves (hidden anger), introverted perfectionist. Well, those hot tempered people that I met are obviously the opposite of my character and thus, I wondered why. 

Is it just because of that? 

After a long time wondering about this (I usually overthinking things); it took me a few years to understand. The people that we try to avoid in life, for example in my case these hot tempered people, are destined to meet is because we, are the people who can teach them something. About characters, about the importance of having patience, and conscience especially when you're completely lost in your anger. They are there, crossing in your life path because they are tested too. They are tested with their anger, patience and also, the ability to control their anger when it seems the hardest thing to do. Meanwhile, we are tested with our patience to deal with them, to show the best example even when our logic is challenged by their anger. To remain calm and help them find it too. 

Yes, not all people succeed in facing their tests in life, and that is when reflecting becomes useful.

That it is not about lying to ourselves that everything will turn out good and we do nothing. It is about the need to reflect. That we need to guide, share or be a good example to others, although it might be the most difficult challenge to overcome. We should try our best and believe that some day, those people are going to realise the truth. But the effort needs to start from us. The prayers, the advice and everything that are within our capability to help them. It is because we are like mirrors to each other. Mirrors that reflect the character and attitude to others. If we chose to be good, then the other people might replicate the kindness to different people in the future. If we chose to be bad or mean to others, do not be surprise that other people might treat us the same way. It is a lifetime experiment, when meeting new people or challenges in the future; we have to decide how to face them.

"We need guidance, and for that Allah has perfectly described to us the script and the role model to be followed."

The Prophet s.a.w.; the Quran and hadith. A role model who is given the script, the best example to follow and guide us. So that we do not have to lie to ourselves anymore, but constantly reflecting and improving our characters based on these. That is why we could not leave Quran even for a day, because the best person to advice us is our own self. We are the one who knows better about our flaws and weaknesses. And Allah has given us the ultimate guidance for us to advise our own self; the Quran. It is really amazing because each time we open the Quran and reflect, Allah is giving us advice to face life through His love in Quran. MashaAllah.

So it is time to repair our relationship with Quran and of course, to be closer to Allah and seek for His blessing in life. InshaAllah. 

A Long, Missed Catch Up

I did not how much I miss them till I met them yesterday. It has been a long time since high school and although I do meet them at least once a year, it really does bring a big difference. During high school, we were among the closest friends together, keeping life busy to achieve the best in SPM especially. But then we grew up later in life, realising that life is more than SPM. Or, life is more than getting good grades....yeahhhh.

It is way beyond than just preparing for exams. Of course, we could not run away from the system entirely, but what I am saying is that the system should not determine the way we look at life. It does not have to be like that. We did talk about the hectic life of three different careers yesterday, pharmacist, medicine and education. And I do realise that each career will have its own challenge and hurdles. I did have a great time reflecting about life with them, and that we just could not mention about the future plan enough..haha

But most importantly, what I did learn about years after leaving high school is that, those friends who were there supporting you from the very beginning, will be among the most important people that keeps you going later in life. Friendship is not about how long, but it is also about those people who never decide to leave us alone. Those people, when we reach out are willing to lend a helping hand and understand. Those people who knows that there are no big difference in our career path, but we just want to give our best to society.

Although we might have different stories in our careers, but we shared the same passion of living life as best as we can, achieving the impossible no matter how difficult it may seem at times, and to share the beauty of the friendship no matter how far and how long we have been away from each other. Even when times is really limited for us to share everything, but the thought of having lovely people around us, who cared is just wonderful.

It will be long journey ahead, and yes, more challenges await in the future. But this friendship, is among the strongest reason why I think I could go further in life. It is because of those people who have been supporting me, even from afar and even in silence.

Life is beautiful, we just need some time to find the hidden beauty at times.

And for you dearests, may Allah bless this friendship and ukhuwwah forever. Amin.,

Those Strong People in My Life That Inspire Me

These few days have made me reflected a lot about the people around me who I considered to be extraordinarily strong. Yes, it is true, each human being faces different tests in life, and that most of the decisions and our plannings in life are sometimes out of our control. It is not because we did not make good enough plans or not deciding the best things for us, but it is because life is already in written in a way that we that we sometimes find it hard to understand. 

This is destiny. But to blame and put everything as it is just because it was written or destined; that is not fair. Life is not about being fair to ourselves only, but it is about reaching a balance. The balance between what we can control and what we could not. 

Of course, it is easy to console ourselves and convince that everything is already written and that we should accept things as they are. But hey, stop blaming our destiny for own failures when we did not put enough effort to change it. Just like you cannot blame destiny for falling when you were walking while texting. Just like you cannot blame people when you got into an accident, because you drove away when the traffic light was blinking red. But to seek a balance is by doing and giving our very best to reach our dreams, but when destiny disagree, we are able to accept and keep moving forward.

But the question of acceptance and being in denial about our destinies are actually related much to our faith. The faith that we could survive despite all those things written for us, the faith that we would not be tested beyond our capabilities. The faith that we are still here today, given the chance to imrpove ourselves though there are moments in the past that almost make us give up hope.

It is just that there are moments in life that make us doubt about this faith, that makes things difficult. That make us begin to blame and question our incapabilites or destiny. Those moments, that make us doubtful, are always going to be a part of our lives' journey ahead. This is true, because as we grow older, be more matured each day, the tests are going to be different. We learn, fall and keep learning to stand up again. And each time we stood up after falling, we gain different perspectives and understanding of life, we have new sources of courage in our hearts and most importantly, we learn from our mistakes.

The tests in life are going to be bigger, tougher and greater as we step forward towards our future undertakings. So, it is a matter of growing up our own faith, patience, perseverance, and honesty towards ourselves. That we can, and will be able to face new challenges in life no matter how difficult it is going to be, with one and only one condition. That we promise ourselves to grow our wisdom and learn each time we face new tests in life. 

This is because the moment we refuse to learn from life, life will disappoint us in a way that we could never imagine. So, dont stop learning.

Life in Malaysia has been teaching me a lot; although I have spent less than two months here. To my previous life back in Melbie, I will surely miss you and you'll always be a great teacher that will be a part of my life forever. 

This post is dedicated to my friends who face new challenges in life everyday, that inspired me to be as strong and to have patience of learning what life is about. To dearest friends that taught me, although life might have different plannings for us, but to have faith that the good and the truth will always be the winner that keep us going. To inspiring friends, you are among the reasons I will not give up learning about life and writing about it. 

Thanks, although I could never thank you enough.

Time is less!

Firstly, I would like to thank and appreciate all the wishes and prayers from my family and friends, yesterday 16th of September. Your wishes and prayers have truly made my day and will go a long way to remind me of being strong; to face the tough journey ahead. Indeed, being far away from home, made me learn to appreciate them more. Yes, time flies and yesterday means, I am adding another digit to what we called 'age', of course. 

But yes, age is just a measurement, a tool to measure how much time have you spent in this life, in this world since you were born. And the funny thing is, we celebrate birthdays, with our beloveds because it signifies a special day for us. Nevertheless, it is also maybe to celebrate the maturity that we are getting because of longer, and more experiences gained than before.

On the other hand, age could also mean the opposite. It means, you probably have longer time to live than your birthday age, or most probably, not. We never know. We will never ever know it. And that is why, for me, birthday is one way I like to remind myself, that when my age are added by another year, it means I have less time to prepare myself. Prepare for what the real life is, in the hereafter.

To be prepared in becoming a true servant to Allah, to become an abid and khalifah, who is always conscious of what he or she is doing in this world, to have taqwa and to meet our Creator in jannah, inshaAllah. And because the world is coming to an end, although we never know when, but it will. And thus, for ourselves, one thing is definitely sure, we are going to leave this world.

And so, for myself, use your time well. Treasure the people around you, be significant to others by giving and enjoy the joy of giving. Even if it is just a piece of advice. Give anything within your capacity, to benefit others. Because time, is now becoming less and it is moving, fast.

Finally, Happy Malaysia Day; am proud to be part of you and share a birthday with you, Malaysia!!  (Yesterday) :)

Pilihan

sungguh terlalu lama tidak menukilkan bicara dan untaian fikiran di ruang yang kerdil, namun cukup memberi erti di sini. Kerana tidak semua kata-kata itu, layaknya lahir daripada sang lidah. Dan terkadang ada banyak kata indah dari minda, yang lebih cantik tertafsir melalui pena. Hari ini, aku cuba mencari inspirasi itu, inspirasi yang jarang-jarang dapat aku nukilkan dengan tulisan....

Sudah tentu apa yang ditakdirkan Tuhan itu punya seribu hikmah yang tersimpan, tetapi kerana diri yang lemah mengatur perjalanan, diri ini teraba-raba mencari hikmah dalam perjalanan hidup yang cukup menguji kesabaran. Dan diri ini juga terkadang alpa, mendoakan kekuatan dari Allah yang Maha Mendengar, Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbisik dalam setiap hati hamba milik-Nya. Ahh, kamu yang terlalu suka melayan perasaan! terlalu banyak masa yang telah dibazirkan; biarlah ada usaha yang dicipta, tatkala dirimu cuba merenung kesalahan, memperbaiki kesalahan, bukannya sekadar merintih kosong, dihanyut kesedihan. Masih, dan masih lagi aku ulang nasihat itu pada diri. Namun itulah, manusia yang terlalu cepat alpanya kerana merasakan dirinya serba cukup, apabila ditimpa kesusahan, mulalah merintih seolah tiada kesudahan.

Merintih kamu biar pada yang sudi mendengar. Merintih kamu, biarlah ada juga doa dan sisi harapan yang membangkitkan, membangunkan jiwa yang kepenatan kerana alpanya mengikut godaan dunia. Merintih kamu, biarlah diiringi usaha untuk menambah daya dan merintih kamu bukan kosong semata. Merintih kamu dalam sujud, adalah semata-mata untuk mencari rahmat dan kekuatan yang cuma datang dari-Nya. dan kerana dirimu sedar, bahawa kerdilnya diri seorang hamba, lemahnya sebagai insan, tiada punya apa jika bukan kerana Allah yang Maha Mengasihi tiap jiwa yang sentiasa cuba kembali ke pangkal jalan, mencari redha-Nya. 

Dan moga juga, dalam tiap sujud, doa dan ibadah yang dirimu usahakan, biarlah sentiasa kerana mengharapkan rahmat-Nya, mengharapkan bimbingan hidayah-Nya yang lurus, kerana dunia ini terlalu bersimpang-siur, entah ke mana-mana jalan yang dituju, jika tiada tujuan yang memandu hidupmu. 

Moga sahaja dalam tiap kata atau janji yang cuba engkau zahirkan kepada mereka, diiringi niat yang tulus dan ikhlas untuk memenuhinya. Kerana percayalah, sesaat engkau mengambil mudah kata atau janji yang pernah engkau lafaz pada mereka yang bernama manusia; tidak mudah, terlalu payah untuk mereka mempercayaimu semula. kerana mungkir janji itu bukanlah sifat seorang yang benar-benar tahu dan menghargai, betapa mahalnya harga sebuah janji yang lahir daripada mereka yang disayangi, dan betapa kata-kata itu perlukan pada pembuktian; bukan sekadar angan-angan yang dikau canangkan sebagai harapan kepada mereka.

Hidup ini indah atau tidak, tergantung kepada pilihan dirimu. Kerana pilihan itu sentiasa terbentang luas, terhias indah berbagai warna, cuma yang membezakan adalah mengapa pilihan itu dibuat, adakah sekadar buat kepuasan atau benar-benar kerana ingin mencari redha Tuhan..usahalah, berdoalah dan bertawakallah, kerana hidup ini tidak punya jalan singkat dan kerana syurga itu, milik mereka yang benar-benar menyerah diri sebagai hamba....

Halfway is imaginary

Salam to my fellow readers, alhamdulillah finally managed to post after few busy weeks, I am actually now in my final week of the first semester, and next semester would be my last semester here, or in other words, I am halfway there, inshaAllah in completing my postgrad in tesol.

But anyways, that's not the halfway that am going to talk about, it's just that at this point of my life, halfway of study year, it made me realize how lucky we are to know that we are able to know about our academic year or planning, because there's a lot you could do to plan your weeks ahead effectively and efficiently. But truth is, we will never know when our time in this world would be half, or even quarter, and that, should actually be a constant reminder to us, how much preparations have we made to face the day of judgement, how many good deeds have we done to cover all the sins that we either realise or not. It made me ponder, how short life in this world is, and that even in this world, when we are often given the due dates of this and that, we often delayed or ignore it till the last minute of the given time! How we have always taken things for granted, even if we know the consequence would be bad, like if I submit my summary late, I might not get the best grade.

Emm, I was just reflecting on my few assignments due soon, and I thought that, I need something to motivate me to keep going and give my very best, thus wrote this down to remind myself and others too InshaAllah.

Always believe that Allah is with us, and that we should always purify our hearts and intention whatever we do in this world, including study and whatever, to seek for His blessings, mardhatillah, inshaAllah.

Amin ya rabbal a'lamin.

Till next time, take care :)

A sharing session with Salim A.Fillah : Kisah Julaibib yang penuh ibrah

Bertempat di Coburg Mosque (surau KITA) di Melbourne pada malam 23 April lalu, ana sempat mengikuti sesi perkongsian bersama Ustaz Salim A.Fillah, berikut merupakan satu daripada banyak cerita yang menyentuh hati ketika mendengar perkongsian dari beliau, mashaAllah.

Moga bermanfaat inshaAllah. 

Kisah Julaibib

Tersebut kisah seorang sahabat bernama Julaibib, beliau sering tidak dipeduli oleh banyak orang yang berada di lingkungannya. Dan adapun rupa Julaibib, bukanlah seindah orang biasa, dia diceritakan tidak punya paras rupa yang menarik,dan sering dikatakan punya rupa pelik, sepelik namanya. Namun, Julaibib tidak pernah menjadikan itu sebagai penghalang buat dirinya untuk mengabdi diri kepada Allah, menjadi hamba yang baik yang senantiasa berusaha menyumbang untuk Islam bersama-sama para sahabat yang lain juga bersama Rasulullah saw yang dicintainya.

Dan kerana kegigihan beliau ini, Rasulullah sentiasa menyenangi Julaibib di sisinya berjuang. Dan pernah suatu ketika Rasulullah saw bertanyakan kepada Julaibib, mengapa dia masih belum bernikah, maka dijawabnya Julaibib, dia malu dan merasakan dia tidak layak buat meminang anak gadis kerana rupanya yang dirasakan jelek oleh banyak orang. Namun, Rasulullah akhirnya membantu Julaibib, dengan melamar seorang gadis untuk diri Julaibib, dan bapa kepada gadis itu gembira bukan kepalang kerana menyangkakan Rasulullah saw meminang gadis buat baginda. 

Baginda kemudiannya menjelaskan bahawa anak gadis beliau dipinang bagi pihak Julaibib. Mendengar jawapan baginda saw, sang bapa merasa keberatan, memandangkan sebelum ini dia dan isterinya juga telah banyak menolak pinangan para saudagar di Mekah yang datang untuk melamar anak gadisnya. Namun, si anak gadis itu, tanpa ragu, menyatakan pendiriannya kepada sang bapa, bahawa jika Rasulullah saw yang membuat keputusan untuk meminang dirinya buat Julaibib, dia sanggup menerima dengan penuh lapang dada, walaupun rupanya yang teramat cantik itu, pada kebanyakan orang tiadalag setanding buat Julaibib.

Tidak dapat dipastikan, berapa lama setelah Julaibib menikahi si gadis rupawan itu, namun ada yang mengatakan cuma sehari atau beberapa hari menikah, Julaibib telah dipanggil untuk panggilan jihad mempertahankan Islam di medan perang. Makanya, julaibib dengan rasa penuh semangat menyahut panggilan itu, namun sebelum itu, telah dia pesankan pada isterinya, bahawa jika dia tidak pulang, iaitu syahid di medan perang, maka Julaibib dengan rela hati membenarkan isterinya itu untuk bernikah dengan orang lain, walau mereka terlalu singkat baru menikah.

Dan pada saat muslimin telah selesai berperang dengan musuh Islam, maka Rasulullah dan para sahabat sibuk menguruskan jenazah dan sahabat-sahabat yang tercedera selepas pertempuran. Maka, pada hujungnya Rasulullah saw bertanyakan adakah mereka kehilangan seseorang. Dan mereka dengan yakin menjawab, "tidak ya Rasulullah, semuanya sudah ditemukan dan dikumpulkan. Rasulullah bertanya lagi, "adakah kamu kehilangan seseorang?" Dan mereka tanpa ragu lagi memberi jawapan yang sama. Dan kemudiannya, mereka baru menyedari bahawa Julaibib masih belum ditemukan. 

Setelah mencari, mereka menemukan jasad Julaibib yang penuh luka, bersama beberapa mayat musuh Islam di kelilingnya, jasad Julaibib penuh luka di bahagian depan, menunjukkan betapa dia tidak gentar melawan musuh hingga ke akhir, walau berhadapan dengan ramai musuh dan dia cuma seorang. 

Dan akhirnya, Julaibib mencapai impiannya menjadi seorang yang syahid fi sabilillah. Rasulullah saw begitu mengagumi pengorbanan dan contoh yang Julaibib berikan, Rasulullah saw sendiri kemudian mengangkat jasad Julaibib, didukungnya ke bahunya, kemudian baginda saw sendiri mengkafankan mayat Julaibib. Para sahabat sungguh merasa cemburu dengan penghormatan yang diberikan kepada Julaibib itu, dan akhirnya Rasulullah saw juga yang mengangkat jenazah Julaibib untuk disemadikan ke dalam liang lahad.

Dan isteri Julaibib yang kehilangan suaminya itu kemudiannya bernikah dengan beberapa orang lagi, dan kesemuanya suaminya itu juga syahid di medan perang. Sehingga pernah suatu saat, isteri Julaibib mengatakan, jika ada sesiapa yang ingin syahid di jalan Allah swt, maka menikahlah dengan dirinya.

Betapa, melalui kisah ini terlalu banyak pengajaran dan ibrah untuk kita kutip, dan betapa Allah swt itu akan memuliakan manusia yang benar-benar ikhlas berjuang demi mencari redha-Nya semata, walau mungkin pada mata manusia di dunia, mereka bukanlah orang yang disanjung kerana harta, atau rupa, tetapi ternyata itu bukanlah faktor untuk mengukur taqwa, kerana Allah swt lebih tahu dan Dia yang Maha Mengetahui siapa yang benar-benar layak melihat wajah-Nya kelak.