To be honest, I am becoming a bit depressed everytime I scroll in my Facebook news feed, watch the national news or even read the newspaper. It is extremely difficult to find a positive news about Malaysia, and not too long after that, I became extremely frustrated that i chose to be sarcastic in some ways, hoping that I could release all these tensions about these negative news. Instead it does not help me to feel better, I am becoming more annoyed, frustrated and depressed each day watching all these negative news passing through my life. It came to a point where my heart feels like it is breaking to pieces and I feel I should no longer care about what is happening. I wanted to be an ignorant. But after giving myself some time to think it through, I realised that all these negativities need to end, I am in control of my response towards these issues. And, there is not even a second where I hate my country, but hating those who betrayed my country. Making it miserable as it now. And yes, realising that made me reflect about myself too. What can I do? What can we do?
Therefore, i would rather say, that i am in the middle. Trying to achieve a balance between caring and not caring. Between ignorant and sensitive. But trust me, most of the times, i fall into the sensitive side more. Because naturally, i am a sensitive person and i don't believe it's a defect. But anyway, i admitted that i was kinda emotional at times, reading heartbreaking news each day, revealing things i hope that are not true, but truly, it doesn't get me anywhere, neither it solves the situation nor it helps to improve things. It is easy to spill out all those criticisms, harsh words, or even negative comments to these issues, but trust me that will not help improve things either. I feel hopeless, helpless and restless because i do not know what are the instant solution to all these problems in the country.
After a long time spent, wondering what i should do or what is the best way to respond, i came to a conclusion that i need to start somewhere, regardless how small. I need to start making the change i wish to see in the world, step by step. From the very beginning of a big change, it will still need the smallest effort, before it can be a greater change. If people around me are corrupted, i need to take care of my integrity, if the people around me are racists, i need to be the one who cares for all regardless colour or races. If people around me are judgemental, i need to be someone who seeks to understand and be wise, if people around me are liars, i need to ensure each of my action and word is true. And because there is no escapism from the current situation, not yet. But what we can do is to channel all those energy from the disappointments and frustrations of our world to something good, to be kind and contribute. Why not channel all those energy, from our dissatisfaction to inspire people through our doings, writing, or anything.
To change negativity to positivity, i know it's difficult but it's not impossible. We are indeed powerful in our own ways, in our little environment, and perhaps we need to practise using this small power first, wisely before we might be given a greater power in the future. Who knows you could be the next leader, who leads the parliament or maybe the ministry? But whatever it is, we would not want the same thing to be repeated, people abusing power again and again. Therefore, make sure to use this "small power" in our everyday lives, given to us wisely and kindly, to shape us as a better leader in future.
Thus, before the lies and the corrupted become any stronger, we are the people who needs to defend the truth, the integrity of the society. And thus, i urged that all of us, start with ourselves, the people around us, plant your seeds of kindness, so that they will grow, and to outgrow the bad and all those lies. We can do this and we have no choice, unless we chose to watch everything falls, including our generation. Time is ticking, and it's you that i am counting on and of course not forgetting, myself.
"O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do." As Saff: 2-3
Because in this era, the truth is a minority. The lies are dominant and it's all around us. It's true what Rasulullah saw has reminded us about fitna at this point of time. I love my country, this country never break my heart, neither it betrays me, but those who betrayed it; is the one who hurts me and ain't going to let them win.
And to my leaders, I hope and I pray that one day you will realise how big your responsibilities are, and the real meaning of "caring for the people" and also, think thousands or millions of times until you decide not to use the citizens' money that easily....
And because positivity needs to start with me..
